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“I’m managing,” I said. “I don’t feel like a complete outsider anymore.”
“Good. I hoped you would start feeling at home.”
“I’m still human,” I pointed out. This would never truly be my home.
“That’s true. But that’s not all you are. Will you bring me those scrolls?” She pointed at a pile of scrolls on her desk. I collected them in my arms and brought them to the coffee table. Nylah sat on the couch and shifted closer when the thick scrolls clattered onto the surface.
“If I’m not fully human, what am I?” I asked.
“For one, you’re a victim of a spell, and that’s not a coincidence.”
“You keep saying that.”
Nylah glanced at me. “And for another, you broke the gagging spell and shifted back into your own body. Humans can’t do that.”
“So…” I didn’t know what that meant.
“Tell me about you, Ellie.” She reached for one scroll, undid it, and opened it carefully so the paper would stay intact because the scrolls were old.
The change of topic was abrupt. “What do you mean, like my dreams?”
“What do you wish for? What do you hope to be one day?”
I shrugged. “We don’t get to choose where we’re headed or what we’ll be. If we’re lucky, we get to live.”
Nylah pursed her lips. “I’ve never agreed with slavery or the way some Fae treat humans.”
“There are rumors things will change.”
“Ren will do what he can, but he can’t change the way of the Fae overnight.”
I didn’t respond to that.
“I always wanted more,” I said. “I fought my whole life—to stay alive, to survive, and to stay safe. That’s all I’ve ever done, and after twenty-one years of fighting…I’m tired. I don’t havedreams,per se. I just know that there must be a life where fighting isn’t everything.”
“And now you’ve chosen to fight yet again,” Nylah said.
I shrugged. The irony wasn’t lost on me. So much had changed. So many things were better.
“If everything is done with holotechnology, why do you still have these old scrolls? It seems like a waste of space.” I looked at the shelves, filled with old books and scrolls that could fit onto a small holodevice Nylah could keep in a drawer.
“Magic. We can’t transfer that to holodevices.”
“What?”
“Here.” She held out the scroll to me. I hesitated, unsure, before I touched it. When I did, whispers shivered around me, speaking of things I didn’t understand. The words on the scroll came to life.
I jerked my hand back.
“What are we fighting for?” I asked, shifting uneasily on the couch. Nylah removed the scroll, and I let out a breath I didn’t know I was holding. “We’re training so hard, and I’m supposed to be part of this elite guard. But what for?”
“Change, Ellie,” Nylah said. “We’re fighting to undo the wrongs of the past.”
“That’s not possible,” I said. “How are you supposed to change the past?”
“By not repeating it. Ren isn’t his father, but it’s so easy to follow the path already carved out. If he wants to veer from that path, he needs to fight to carve out a new one.”
It sounded like a Fae problem. It had nothing to do with me. Except that I was a part of his elite guard now, so I guess it had everything to do with me.
