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“What?”
“My behavior was wrong. I’m sorry about that. It won’t happen again.”
My heart sank. Ren looked so solemn. Did he really think it was a mistake?
“It’s…okay,” I replied.
Couldn’t I think of anything else to say? I wanted to tell him I’d liked it. That I’d wanted it. I just had to say it.
But what future did we have? He was the Fae King of Jasfin, and no matter how much I liked him and how it had affected me when he’d kissed me, it would never change the fact that I was a human.
“We won’t talk about it again,” I added, squaring my shoulders.
“Thank you,” Ren said. “I appreciate you’re not making a fuss.”
“You’re used to women making a fuss,” I said.
He nodded. “Sad that it’s so, but I’ve learned my lesson.”
“Where is she?” I asked. “Do you know?”
The last we’d seen of her was when she’d blasted a magical hole in the palace’s wall and disappeared.
Ren shook his head and looked at a stack of papers in front of him. “She’s back home. Her father took her back in. He contacted me this morning to talk.”
“Is he upset?” I asked. What happened when an alliance was broken? War? I didn’t know if Jasfin could handle that on top of what was happening with Palgia.
“No, he keeps apologizing for her attitude. He wants me to take her back, and he tried to convince me that she just had a slip-up. She gets very emotional sometimes.”
I frowned. “You’re not taking her back, are you?”
Ren looked at me, raising his eyebrows. Maybe I should have asked it differently, with less disdain at the idea. He was the King of Jasfin—he could do whatever he wanted.
“No. I told her I won’t take her back. Apologizing for an outburst is one thing, but we don’t see eye to eye, and that’s not something she can fix with a few well-aimed words.”
I nodded, feeling relieved. Ren regretted kissing me, and that stung. At least he wasn’t going to marry Queen Evil. He’d seen Lucia for who she really was, and he’d acted on it. In my eyes, it made him a good king, and a good male.
“Is that all?” I asked when the silence between us stretched so thin I couldn’t bear it. I didn’t regret last night at all. I’d dreamed about those lips for a while now. It had been more magical than anything I’d envisioned.
Ren nodded. “Thank you for coming to see me,” he said the way he had when I’d walked in.
I turned and left the office. The knowledge that the kiss had meant nothing to him hurt. I had to get over this silly little crush I was developing. Because that was exactly what it was—a crush. And nothing would come of it. It wasn’t possible, not with who we were and where we came from. Our worlds were too different, and even though Ren had given me a place of honor in the palace and in the guard, it didn’t put me on any kind of pedestal. I had to accept that and move on.
* * *
The water washot when I stepped into the shower, and I closed my eyes. I let the water carry away the sweat and the dirt and hoped that it would take my disappointment along with it.
When I climbed out of the shower, I missed Bessie. A pang shot through my chest when I opened my wardrobe. I felt alone. I dressed in a fresh pair of training clothes so that I could train with the guard after lunch. I had a friend in Zita already, so the training was something to look forward to.
And yet, it felt bland. I wasn’t as excited as I should have been.
Finally, I walked to the mess hall to eat, my stomach already rumbling.
This was what I was going to focus on—the elite guard and training hard. Preparing to do my job as the King’s protector.
I wouldn’t think about Ren and Lucia, that he was single now, that he’d kissed me.
In this war, I could still win.
