Page 120 of If I Could


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“Then why didn’t you agree to it last week? Why didn’t you at least agree it was an option?”

“I couldn’t. Even now, I can’t make you any promises. There are things I need to do, and until I do them, my life is kind of a mess. And I don’t want you part of that mess.”

“What mess? What are you talking about?”

“It doesn’t matter. What matters is that I’m working on a solution. A solution that would ensure we could be together.”

“Kyle, if you can’t be honest with me then you need to leave. I’m not going to be with someone who keeps secrets from me.”

“I get that, but I promise you, if you just give me some time to work this out, we could be together.”

“Workwhatout? Tell me what’s going on.”

He sighs. “I can’t.” He turns to me. “But I will when it’s over. I just need you to trust me.”

I rip my hand from his and stand up. “Why would I trust you when you can’t be honest with me? This can’t work if you’re hiding something from me.”

“Sage, I—”

“Go.” I point to the door. “I’m leaving soon and I don’t have time for this. I have to get ready.”

“I’m not going. I came here to talk to you. To get you back.”

“I don’t…” My voice cracks as tears trickle down my cheeks. “I don’t want you back.”

He steps up to me and puts his thumb on my cheek, wiping the tears. “You sure about that?”

I close my eyes and nod, more tears falling.

“What if I told you I love you more than I ever thought possible?” He puts his arm around my waist and pulls me closer. “What if I told you that since meeting you, the best parts of my day were waking up with you every morning and having you fall asleep in my arms every night?” He places a soft kiss on my lips. “What if I told you this past week without you has been one of the worst weeks of my life? Then, maybe, would you consider being with me again?”

I open my teary eyes. “Maybe.”

“What can I do, Sage? What can I do to get you back?” He wipes more tears from my face. “What if I promised to work on my grilled cheese skills so you never have to make them again?”

I smile. “Wouldn’t help. Grilled cheese sandwiches aren’t really my thing.”

“Then why do we have them all the time?”

“Becauseyoulove them. And I love you.”

“You were only eating them because of me?”

“And because they’re a cheap dinner.”

“I’ll buy you whatever you want. We don’t have to eat grilled cheese.” He shakes his head. “Shit, why you didn’t tell me this before? Now I feel like an ass for making you eat something you didn’t like.”

“I didn’t say I don’t like them, just not all the time.”

“That’s it. No more grilled cheese. From now on, you make all dinner decisions. And I’ll attempt to make whatever you want.”

“You’re acting like we’re back together.”

“We’re not?” His face falls in disappointment. “But I thought—”

“I need you to do something for me.”

“What is it?”

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