Page 82 of If I Could


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“It’s something to do. We can eat, drink, listen to music. There’s nothing to do at home.”

“We can watch TV. Watch a movie. Anything’s better than hanging around with people who don’t want us here.” He turns me toward him. “I’d rather just be with you. Just the two of us.”

Looking at the scene around us, I realize I want that too. I thought coming here would be fun, but the whole thing with Jesse kind of ruined it. Now people are staring at us like it’s our fault Jesse reacted that way. I guess in a way it was, but Jesse didn’t have to react violently. His jealousy got out of hand because he was drunk, and that’s not my fault.

“Okay, let’s go.”

We walk back to the truck and drive home in silence. When we get back to Kyle’s place, I stop him before he gets out.

“Are you mad at me?”

“For what?”

“Making Jesse almost hit you?”

“You didn’t make him do anything. He was drunk and being stupid.”

“But I made you go there so Jesse would stop harassing me. And then he ended up almost punching you.”

“I expected that would happen.”

“You did?”

“If a guy like Jesse wants you and then sees you with someone else, there’s a good chance he’ll start a fight with the guy.”

“And that didn’t concern you?”

“As you saw tonight, I can take care of myself. He didn’t stand a chance. Even if Josh hadn’t held him back and Jesse was able to get a swing at me, he still would’ve ended up unconscious on the ground.”

“Have you ever done that before? Used your martial arts training like that?”

“A few times.” He opens the door and gets out.

“So you’ve been in fights before?” I ask as we walk to the house together.

He opens the door and we go inside.

“Have you or not?” I ask, wanting him to answer the question.

“Yeah.” He walks past me to the kitchen. “You want something to drink?”

I meet up with him at the fridge. “Why do you always do that?”

“Not give you a thousand word answer to every question you ask?” he asks in an angry tone as he moves stuff around in the fridge.

“I didn’t say it had to be a thousand words, but more than one would be nice.”

He slams the fridge door shut. “How many times do I have to tell you I don’t like talking about myself before you’ll finally accept it?”

“And when are you going to realize that I can’t be around someone who keeps secrets? After what I went through with my dad, I can’t do that again.”

He sighs, rubbing his hand over his jaw as he walks past me. “Then this isn’t going to work.”

I follow him to the couch and sit beside him. “I don’t understand. Why is everything such a secret with you? Can you at least tell me that?”

“Why?” He looks at me. “Why is it so important that you get to know me?“

“Because I…” I look away. “Because I like you.”

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