AllFreeNovel
Share Us
“I’m not entranced,” I argued, snapping straight and scowling at Ludvig. “And he’s....” I couldn’t say he was not a whore, so I finished by mumbling, “He’s very nice.”
“Yes, even from here I could see by the way you looked at him that he wasvery nice.”
“It isn’t fair, Ludvig,” I growled. “I don’t want to be teased anymore. Everyone teases me about everything, but I really like Hayk. And he likes me, for some strange reason. I just want to enjoy it, even though I don’t deserve to, but everyone is poking fun at me, like I’m some sort of hypocrite because I fancy a man who—”
I stopped in horror when I realized how much I’d blurted out.
That horror turned to humiliation when Ludvig lost all traces of humor and just stared sadly at me.
“Oh, Anton.” He reached for my hand, and since I could see it took some effort to do so, I moved closer to him and held out my hand so he could take it. “My poor young friend. You deserve and have always deserved better than you’ve gotten.”
I blinked at him, no idea what he was talking about. “I don’t deserve anything,” I said.
“Yes, my friend, you do,” Ludvig said, reaching across and patting my hand as he held it. “You deserve happiness and comfort. You deserve peace and someone who loves you. Someone you can love.”
“I’ve only just met him, Ludvig,” I said. “This morning. Not more than ten hours ago.”
Ludvig grinned. “I didn’t say anything about your new friend. I was speaking in general terms.”
My humiliation grew tenfold, and I hung my head.
Because the fact of the matter was that Hayk had changed me somehow. That fast. With no warning. He’d found me at one of the lowest moments of my life, and he’d seen me. Perhaps more than anyone ever had before. He’d noticed me above the other Sons, and he’d stood up to Dmitri, sacrificing himself on my behalf, even, when he barely knew me.
I’d known people for most of my life who wouldn’t have lifted a finger to hand me a cup of tea, let alone take my place and be face-fucked. But Hayk had done that, and he’d smiled at me after. That was more important than the two of us fucking.
“You must stop holding all of your thoughts and emotions inside, my friend,” Ludvig said in a softer voice, giving my hand a squeeze. “I’m convinced bottling everything up is what has kept you from finding your true place and your purpose in this life.”
“I’m not sure I have a purpose,” I said, looking up at him again. “Not everyone does.”
“Perhaps not,” Ludvig said with an uncomfortable shrug.
That surprised me. My brow inched up. Did Ludvig actually think I was useless and pointless as well?
But no, Ludvig laughed softly and shook his head. “You have a purpose,” he said. “Otherwise, you would not have taken that remark as an insult.”
“I didn’t,” I insisted. “I just….” I didn’t know how to finish the sentence.
Ludvig was silent for a long while as he studied me. I knew he was trying to figure out all the things I wasn’t saying. It dawned on me that he’d always had to dig for my true feelings about things for the entire time we’d known each other. I made everyone work to know me.
Except Hayk. Hayk just knew me without the work.
“What else is going on down there?” Ludvig asked, his expression shifting away from intense scrutiny. “Has there been any word from Jorgen Iceblade and his people?”
I perked up a bit, since I actually knew something about that.
“Ox has just brought word that a runner from Jorgen showed up at Captain Andreas’s boat earlier. Jorgen and Hati, their pups, and a few men should arrive tomorrow.”
“That’s good,” Ludvig said. “Magnus will be happy. I don’t know how much he plans to accomplish while we’re here in Good Port, but Magnus does like to talk with his allies and to forge bonds that are not easily broken.”
“Do you think the alliance between the Wolf River Kingdom, Good Port, and Jorgen’s people in the north will hold?” I asked.
Ludvig nodded. “As it happens, I do,” he said. “We all share common interests. Lord Vikhrov came to converse with me earlier, and I found him to be an intelligent and careful man. He wants the same things Magnus wants. And I’ve known Jorgen for years. He likes to think of himself as a big man, but at the end of the day, he is more concerned for his people than himself.”
Ludvig paused to huff a laugh and shake his head. “Unlike those twats, Boris and Yates,” he added.
I sucked in a breath and scooted closer to him. It went against every rule of the Sons that we had, but something within me urged me to tell Ludvig what I knew about General Rufus. He’d met General Rufus, and he would see the truth of things as soon as I laid the pieces out for him.
“Dmitri told me about the secrets he’s been keeping,” I whispered, even though it wasn’t likely anyone was near enough to us to overhear.
