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“My skin feels wrong,” Kole said, scratching at the back of his neck as he walked.
His brother, Shawn, nodded. “As if it can no longer contain my insides.”
Erik grunted his agreement, and Reardon regarded his comrades, guilt tiptoeing back to him, squashing the high of victory he’d been enjoying.
“It is the change, my friends,” he said quietly.
“What do you mean?” Kole asked.
“He means your intellect is no longer in control.” Jaemus folded his arms across his chest. “Our wolf selves are closer to the surface. Our needs are more feral. We are part animal now.”
Reardon didn’t miss the glare in his brother’s eyes. Of all the men, Jaemus had been the least vocal since their alteration. Reardon knew for a fact that a quiet Jaemus was an angry Jaemus. As youngsters, whenever he and Jaemus had a brothers’ spat, Jaemus would always stalk off to be by himself before seeking Reardon out again to unleash his fury. Being the older, larger brother, Reardon had always been able to handle Jaemus.
The expression on his brother’s face right now, however, represented untamed fury, volatile and abundant.
“Riches, drink, food,” Jaemus continued through teeth already lengthening, “are not enough anymore. We crave other things now.”
“What other things?” Shawn asked as he raked his clawed fingers through his wild hair.
“Flesh.” When Reardon had shifted that first time after the ceremony, his father had been ready with a freshly slaughtered cow. He’d greedily torn meat from bone, not quite able to get his fill. Over time, though, his hunger had lessened and he’d learned to control himself. He’d show his men how to do the same.
“We trusted you, Reardon,” Kole said around a low growl.
Guilt was done tiptoeing. It now marched directly over Reardon and punched him. Repeatedly. Kole was right. His men had always trusted him not only to find the lucrative contracts, but to protect them both on and off the battlefield.
And he’d betrayed that trust by making one decision. He’d like to think it wasn’t a selfish decision, but hadn’t he been angry about possible surrender? Hadn’t his pride been poked with sword tips? Hadn’t he acted only to preserve their record of victory, their fame?
All egotistical reasons for what he’d done.
“You can control your wolf sides,” he said.
“We shouldn’thavewolf sides,” Jaemus said. “You’ve set us on a path to Hell.”
Reardon clenched his teeth, a sudden spark of fury awakening his own wolf. “What happened to the loyalty in battle you all displayed in Spain?” They had been willing to accept him as their Alpha. They’d heeded his suggestion to leave the tavern only moments ago. Why the sudden change?
“Wolfmen make sense in the heat of the fight,” Erik said. “When we don’t have swords in our hands and enemies in range, we are no more than savages.”
Reardon marched up to Erik, a vein in his neck pulsing as his anger grew. “We were already savages, Erik. Think about what we do.” He stepped back and threw his arms out to encompass the gathered men. “We kill for profit. We fight simply because kings tell us to and can pay us handsomely. Then we are able to close our eyes at night and sleep as if we hadn’t taken human lives. If that is not savage, I don’t know what is. I merely gave you extra weapons to do the work we do. Claws, teeth, animal instincts. You are better soldiers because of what I’ve done.”
It was a good speech, but not one Reardon entirely believed. True, he’d given these men something, but was it something they’d wanted? No. He hadn’t wanted it when he was a boy crossing the threshold to manhood.
Or wolfhood as it were.
“Can’t you take what you’ve done back?” Kole asked. “Undo it.”
Reardon shook his head. “I’m afraid once the transformation has occurred, it can’t be undone.”
“So we are destined to be like this for the rest of our lives?” Kole rubbed his temples as if an ached plagued him there. Headaches were common in the beginning. Reardon’s headaches had sent him deep into the woods in search of dark places to recover after he’d first changed.
He opened his mouth to reply, but a near-blinding flash of light caused all of them to shield their faces.
A moment later, a powerful female voice echoed through the night. “Reardon McAlator, your gift was not yours to share like this.”
Despite the incredible strength resonating in the voice, Reardon fisted his hands by his sides and yelled, “Gift? More like a curse!”
Another bolt of light crashed down among the men, causing the human soldiers to flee.
“Now you question me? I am Flidae, goddess of wild things, and you’ve made a grave mistake, wolf!”
