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CHAPTER35
The spa was fucking awesome, me and Butterfly got a couples massage by two women; of course, I'm not down with some dude having his hands all over what's mine, whether he's gay or not. The only dick that should be anywhere near her naked ass is mine.
The only glitch occurred when this society maven looked at my butterfly with a sour look on her face like she’d smelled some shit that was rancid. I gave her the mean brow, and she suddenly became interested in something else. Fucking bitch.
Now I'm very much aware that I can't browbeat every mother- fucker out there that's going to talk shit, but I was more than willing to punch a fucker in the face if he fucked with my girl.
I knew it was time to get back to real life, and I can't say I was looking forward to that shit.
I knew the public would be out for their pound of flesh, and I was gonna try not to lose my shit because people could be stupid. They acted like the shit actors did was any different to what they and their neighbors did every fucking day. What they didn't understand was that the shit we did on the screen was for them; we put our blood, sweat, and tears into it to make it as enjoyable for them as possible. But when the cameras were off, my fucking life belonged to me; go live in your own fucking glass house and stop throwing mother-fucking stones at mine; maybe I liked having a few smudges on my fucking windows. What the fuck is it to you? I'm also doubly sure that half these assholes out there passing judgment did some fucked up shit in their lives that would make what my baby did look like a walk in kindergarten. I'm sure if I turned the spotlight on some of these paparazzi motherfuckers they'd run screaming into the fucking night, bitch asses. Okay, rant over. I'm hungry as fuck, and my girl is looking all kinds of fuckable after her spa treatments, time to go. I had a baby girl to make.
* * *
Oh,my word Gage is trying to kill me, I don't think we have this much sex in a week, and we have a lot of sex in a week. He was insatiable; as soon as he rolled off of me, he would be back for seconds or thirds, or, I lost count, and my kitty cat, her name's Katrina, by the way, she keeps purring at him until he pounds the shit out of her and then she'd start whining to me about being sore. Not much I could do about it if she insisted on being a greedy bitch.
I'm not sure what set him off this time, but as soon as we got back from the spa and lunch, he frog marched me up the stairs. The door to his room was barely closed before he had me pushed up against it with my thong around my ankles. He said something about my glow, whatever that was. I'm sure his family knew what we were up to.
I know he didn't want me to keep harping on it, but I could never put into words how much his forgiveness meant to me. He saved my life because, in all seriousness, I think I would've given serious thought to ending it. That might seem weak, but that's where my head was at; that pain was not to be borne. I know one thing I'd never be that damn stupid again in this lifetime. I hope that was the worse thing I would ever do in my life, especially to my Gage. He deserved so much more than me, but I'm glad he loves me enough to take me back.
Tomorrow we're supposed to meet with that James guy to talk strategy or something; I'm super nervous, I know I let a lot of people down, and I can't begin to make reparation, but that kind of pisses me off, too, you know. I mean, I'm just a person like everybody else; I made a mistake; I don't think I should be held to a higher standard than, say, the checkout clerk at the grocery store, but that's just the way it is. People pay for a movie ticket, and they think they have the right to have a say in your life. I'm also worried about Gage; I saw that lady at the spa today and the way he reacted to her; I know his temper. He thinks he's kept it hidden all these years, but I've seen glimpses of it, and though he has great control, I was sure this would push all his limits. I just wish I knew how to deal with it all.
“What are you thinking about so hard over there, beautiful?" I rolled over on the bed and looked at him.
"I thought you were taking a nap?"
"Yeah, your snapper knocked me the fuck out, but I could hear you thinking in my sleep, come 'ere." He pulled me into his arms and nuzzled behind my ear the way I liked. Of course, his hand worked its way down to my crotch for an exploration.
"Hmm, your pussy's so sweet, baby; I think she's trying to kill me, though."
"How's she trying to kill you? She isn't doing anything; it's you that messed with her. She was just laying here minding her business." I laughed at him.
"No, she wasn't. She was purring at me, more, more, more."
I missed being silly with him; it amazed me that we could get that back so soon, but it didn't seem possible.
"Are you sure we're okay, Gage? There isn't anything else about this that bothers you?"
He stopped to think for a while, while I held my breath.
"Everything about this shit bothers me, babe, but it's not about that; it's about us, you and I; what happened is fucked. I'm not gonna sugarcoat it, but I love you." Kiss.
"You love me." Kiss.
"And that's all the fuck that matters, so put this shit away, for now; tomorrow's soon enough to deal with the fuckery."
I wish I could be as sure as he that all will be well. I knew it was guilt that was making me so nervous, guilt for what I'd done and guilt for the ridicule Gage was sure to face for taking me back. I decided to do as he said, so I took a deep breath and enjoyed being held in his arms again.
