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And yet, something about that makes it mean even more.
I know what he’s been through, what he’s suffered.
His mouth is against my jaw, and I turn my face so that my lips are against his ear, whispering breathlessly as he thrusts into me. “I know what you’ve been through, Cayde,” I murmur. “I know some of it, at least. I know why you’re so angry. So give it to me. I can take it.” I press my lips against his cheek, drawing in a shuddering breath as a ripple of pleasure washes over me when he thrusts in hard, holding himself there, grinding against me. “I’m angry too.”
Cayde rears back, his gaze suddenly fixed on mine, fierce and hot. He grips my neck with both hands then, his fingers behind my head, his thumbs pressing into my throat as he tilts my head up. “You don’t know anything,” he growls. “You don’t know what happened to me.”
“I can guess,” I gasp out. “You don’t have to tell me. But I’ve been through it all too. And I’m fucking furious. So give me all of it, Cayde. I can fucking take it. Just don’t pretend I don’t fucking understand.”
He jerks backwards, still buried inside of me, something reverberating through him as he looks at me as if he’s seeing me for the first time. “Athena—”
My name slips from his mouth, his eyes still fixed on mine, and a beat passes between us, the air between us thick and hot.
And then his mouth slams down onto mine, and I forget everything else.
His hands go to my wrists, clamped down around them above the straps, his hips slamming into mine so hard that I know I’ll be bruised tomorrow. Every inch of me feels oversensitive, as if every nerve in my body is alive, and I can feel everything. All of his emotion, all of his rage, all of the boiling tangle offeelingsinside of him, surging up in a froth that threatens to choke us both. “You’re going to destroy me,” he growls against my mouth. “You’re going to tear me apart—”
I laugh then, a sound swallowed up by his lips, because it’s him that’s tearing me apart, almost literally. His teeth sink into my lip, biting down over where Dean did exactly that, and I cry out, bucking against him. “Just say it, Cayde,” I grind out. “You can do it,” I add, mimicking his voice when he told me to take the rest of the lashes from the cane. “If I can take the punishment, you can do this. Fucking say it, while your cock is inside of me.”
“I can’t—” he shudders again, and I can feel that he’s so close, holding himself back by the thinnest thread.
“You can,” I whisper. And then, not to be cruel but because I know it’s what he needs, I whisper against his lips—“They did.”
He snarls at that, his mouth dragging away from my mouth to my throat, over the spot where Dean marked me, and I know he wants to put his own mark on me, to show everyone that I’m his too, to make sure that Dean isn’t the only one staking a claim. I know what I said cut him deep, but it’s the pain he needs, just like the pain he gave me.
This is what we do for each other.
“I know,” he whispers against my mouth when he yanks his lips away from my neck, my skin freshly bruised and throbbing. “I saw Dean say it to you. I bet Jaxon has too, I bet he said it first, the fucking pussy—”
“It’s not weak to say it,” I whisper, arching against him. “Just like taking the pain you want to give me doesn’t make me weak. I know you’re afraid—”
“I’m not fucking afraid of anything.” His fingers clutch at my chin, moving down to my throat, his cock hammering into me harder now. I’m on the verge of coming, but I’m trying not to, wanting to wait. Not to give it to him yet, or he’ll go over the edge before I force it out of him.
He needs this.
“Then say it.” I open my eyes, staring straight into his. “Tell me what you want to say, Cayde. Tell me while you make me come on your cock, while you fucking come inside of me.” I roll my hips against him as best as I can, arching so that he can feel every inch of me that can be pressed against him. “Fucking say it.”
“Athena—”
“Say it.”
“Fuck!” He rears backwards, throwing his head back as his hand around my throat shoves my head back against the frame, his cock pumping into me hard and fast. “I can’t, Athena,fuck, you fucking—”
Whatever he was going to say is cut off by his lips on mine again, sucking my bloodied lip into his mouth, and I feel him explode inside of me, hot and violent, and there’s an answering tremor through me, but it’s not what he wanted.
I didn’t come for him.
And I can see it in his face when he’s spent, when he pulls back and looks at me, that he knows.
I expect anger, threats, him spitting vitriol at me. But instead there’s something defeated in his eyes, as if he was fighting a battle with himself, and lost.
Cayde slips out of me, stepping back, and for a long moment he just stares at me.
And then he spins on his heel, grabbing his clothes off of the floor and stalks out of the room, leaving me there.
There’s dead silence in the room for a moment. Dean looks as if he doesn’t know what the fuck to do, looking almost comical sitting in the armchair with his cock still hard, his hand dropping away from it to rest on his thigh.
But Jaxon stands up in one swift motion, crossing the room to me.
