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All her life, Lara had been taught that her value was in what she could accomplish only to have those who should’ve cared about her, should’ve protected her, turn on her once she’d served her purpose. Who could blame her for allowing that to sink into her soul, especially after how he’d treated her? Who could blame her for continuing to risk her health—herlife—just to ensure she was worth something to those she loved?
“Aren?”
There was a hint of trepidation in her voice, and he silently cursed himself because its presence was his fault. Resting his weight on one elbow, he smoothed her hair back from her face and then kissed her. Meeting her gaze, he said, “I love you, Lara. Nothing in this world short of death will ever take me from your side, and even then, it would only be until I could find you in whatever comes after. I will never leave you.” He hesitated, then added, “And I know that I said all these words before only to cast you aside. Not once, but twice.”
Lara turned her face away from his, eyes squeezing shut. “You know I don’t blame you for that, Aren. What I did was unforgivable. I lied to you.”
“I said nothing would take me from your side but then allowed something to do so,” he answered. “But I didn’t stop loving you. Not once, Lara. Not once. And I never will.”
She opened her eyes to meet his again, “There are moments when hearing that from you feels like a dream I might wake from.”
That broke his heart. “It’s the truth. You are brilliant and brave. Empathetic and kind to those who deserve it.” He kissed her again, tasting the salt of a tear that had trickled down her cheek. “There is no one else I’d rather have at my back during a storm or in my arms when the clouds clear. There is nothing and no one in this life or the next that I want more than you, Lara.”
“Then why are you holding back?”
“Because I don’t want you to hurt yourself,” he said. “I don’t want to risk you.”
“I’m fine, Aren.”
“You always say that. You think that showing any weakness makes you worthless.” Lara went still beneath him, her face abruptly unreadable, but he pressed onward anyway. “I know your worth. I see it every time I look at you, know it every time I hear your voice. You have nothing to prove, but I do. I need to prove to you that I will always be at your side, no matter what we face.”
“I already know that.”
“Do you?”
Her lip quivered. “Yes.”
Whether she was lying to him or lying to herself, Aren wasn’t certain. “No more deception between us, Lara. No more lies or half-truths. No secrets. I swear to it.”
She hesitated, then nodded. “I swear to it. No more secrets.”
Shifting his weight, Aren kissed her. “And when the healers say that you are well enough for exertion”—he pressed against her—“I promise it will have been worth the wait.”
Lara rolled her eyes and smiled, and he kissed her again, linking her fingers with his. Tasted his beautiful wife. Relished her. Prayed to fate and the stars for a moment to breathe before they were tested again.
Fate, of course, had different plans, and a knock sounded at the door.
2
LARA
Lara twitched,the sharp rap on the door startling her, and she instinctively slipped her hand under her pillow to where her knife was concealed. Never mind that she didn’t have the strength yet to fully brush her own hair much less wield a blade.
She hated feeling weak. Hated how her heart fluttered and her legs trembled every time she stood, a visit to the water closet feeling like she’d climbed a mountain rather than cross the room.You did this to yourself,Nana was fond of telling her, and it was hard to argue the old woman’s point. In the days after she’d awoken from her first bout of illness after the battle for Eranahl, Lara had pushed herself to the limit, needing to prove herself worthy of the crown that had been placed back on her head. Needing to involve herself as much as she could in rebuilding the kingdom that had suffered so much as the result of her actions. One stupid misstep on the stairs had broken open the wound on her leg, and it had festered, nearly killing her.
And leaving her confined to this room ever since. Not just weak but…useless.
Another knock sounded, and Aren reached up to draw her hand down from the blade. “They can wait,” he murmured, kissing her throat. “I’m not ready to get out of bed.”
“It could be something important.”
“Not as important as who is in my bed.”
Aren kissed her again, tongue parting her lips as his thumbs stroked the backs of her hands. Lara’s blood warmed, an aching need for him building between her legs. He was still hard, rubbing against the apex of her thighs. Though she knew he was trying to protect her, might well be right to do so, Lara still lifted her hips, his thick tip pressing inside of her.
Aren groaned, his large body shuddering as he said, “God, woman. Did you not hear a damned thing I just said? Or have you just chosen to disregard all of it?”
Instead of answering, Lara hooked her leg around him and pulled, her back arching with pleasure as he filled her. Her heart was fluttering wildly but she didn’t care. She loved him more than life. Wanted him more than breath. And with everything feeling so fragile, so tenuous, Lara needed this connection to him. Knew that for all his protests, Aren needed it, too.
