AllFreeNovel
Share Us
“Ember?”
“What?” I glance over to where he and Paulina stand a few yards away. They’re so beautifully matched. Where he’s ferociously attractive—she’s a beautiful warrior. Jealousy churns in my belly, turning to rocks that make me nauseous.
“Do you want to get in the water? Paulina can help—”
“No. Thank you.” I face back out to the water again as a tear slips from my eyes. When I’m gone, I hope he finds someone like her. Someone who is strong, capable of keeping herself safe.
Not a damsel in constant distress.
Rafferty takes a seat a few yards away from me, though his presence is so consuming he might as well be sitting right beside me. “What is it? Is this not what you wanted?”
“It’s fine.”
“Ember, what is it?”
I turn my head so I can see him, surprised Paulina is nowhere in sight. “Where is your friend?”
“Paulina?” he arches a brow. “She’s back at camp.”
“Oh? Good for her.”
Rafferty continues to stare at me, and the dumbfounded look on his face pisses me off. “Do you not like her? I didn’t realize the two of you had met.”
Dammit.I’m being a bitch. I know I’m being a bitch. But between his hot and cold, light and dark, and everything in my mind, I can’t freaking help it. “We hadn’t.”
“Then what is the problem?”
That does it. “Is there something offensive about me?”
“Offensive?”
“Stop repeating everything I say,” I growl. “You act as though you cannot be with me because of the darkness, yet you’re fine right now. You were fine the other night when you said we could be together for as long as we had left. Which is it? Do you want me? Or am I so offensive you cannot stomach the idea of seeing me as a woman?”
Rafferty’s expression darkens, and I prepare myself for him to lose his damn mind. Instead, he stands and crosses the distance between us then takes a seat at my side. “You wanted children. A family.”
“What the hell does that have to do with anything?”
He closes his eyes and takes a deep breath, staring out at the river. “I cannot have children.”
His tone is haunted, broken, even as I cannot understand what the hell that has to do with us. “In case you haven’t noticed, neither can I.”
“But you could,” he insists. “If we find a way to heal you.”
I gape at him. “You’ve been avoiding me because you think I’m going to survive?”
“If you do—when you do—you deserve to have everything you’ve ever wanted. And I cannot give that to you because of the dark magic. Having children would mean bringing more dark fae into this world, and I cannot stomach putting another being through this fight. Especially not a child.”
“Rafferty, Iwantedchildren. I alsowanteda nice, normal, human husband because I didn’t realize there was more out there. If you’re avoiding me because you think—” Trailing off, I recall the day his mood changed. “You saw me with the fae children.” Rafferty does not answer. “I can like children while also understanding I cannot have any of my own.”
“But you could,” he insists. “One day, you can go home and have a normal life.”
“If I survive, I don’t want that life. How can you not see that? You are more—”
“I am not good enough for you.”
The words settle into my mind, but where I would have felt sorry for him, now they just piss me off. “Not good enough for me? Are you fucking kidding me? Don’t you think I get to decide? Don’t you think that should be left up to me?”
“You don’t understand.”
