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Fin pales slightly but recovers quickly. “I suppose we need to hope it doesn’t take that from me.” He shifts his attention from Rafferty to me. “Let me do this for you, Ember. Let me bring you and Rafferty all that I lost.” His eyes shimmer with tears, breaking my heart.
“I cannot tell you what it means to me that you would be willing to do this, but I cannot let you. You’ve already lost so much,” I repeat.
“And so have you,” he replies. “Both of you.” His gaze shifts from me to Rafferty then back to me again. “More than likely it will not cost me much, but I can bring you through. Rafferty can continue bleeding himself to straddle that precarious line he keeps walking, and the two of you can be fae.”
“Or, you both take the cure,” Ridley says.
I turn to him. “That’s possible?”
“Becoming a fae will tether you to Rafferty and rid you of your disease,” he explains. For the first time in years, actual, blinding hope burns through me. “As Sullivan pointed out, you have to die to get into the Veil. So when you come out—”
“I’ll be cured.” I gape at Rafferty, shocked that he isn’t displaying the same hope I feel. If they can cure meandbreak the connection with Taranus, doesn’t that solve all of our problems?
“All of this is rooted in her being able to survive throughbothphases of the bonding ceremony,” Rafferty reminds us. “And that is uncertain at best. Especially given the dark magic that will be exchanged during the blood blending. It could poison her body further and kill her before the bond has a chance to take effect.”
“But isn’t it worth a shot?” I snap.
Tension snaps in the air as Rafferty and I glare at each other. This plan may hinge on him holding up his end, but the only one with any real risk here is me. This is my life. My future. And I’m willing to risk anything if it means a life with him.
“We’ll give you a few moments,” Ridley announces.
Sullivan turns and leaves, “I’ve never seen a fae war camp.”
Fin clasps a hand on Sullivan’s shoulder. “Then allow us to show you around.”
Ridley, Sullivan, and Fin leave the tent, and I keep my gaze trained on Rafferty, waiting for him to speak. And so help him if it isn’t what I want to hear—
“Your disease could claim you the moment we materialize on that side.”
“And the bond could take my life in an instant.” I snap my fingers together in demonstration. “Every single day I wake up, I’m more exhausted,” I tell him. “Every day I feel the pull, and the not knowing whether it is the bond with Taranus or the disease finally catching up to me is even more traumatizing than actually dying. I went to Ireland, knowing my life was ending. That is not the frightening part for me.”
“No?” he growls. “Then tell me, Ember, what is? Because the thought of losing you makes me so fucking terrified I cannot function.”
His words break my heart even as the love spoken pieces it back together. I long to touch him, but he’s just out of reach. “Then you have to let me do this. You have to find a way to be okay with this risk. It’s the only solution to all of our problems.”
“And what of Faerie? Do I simply leave it behind? Do you truly expect me to be able to abandon my world to the ruins of what’s left once Taranus’s reign is over?”
“Of course not.” I step back. “We come back and fix it before we cure you.”
“Cure me.” Rafferty shakes his head and turns away from me.
“Raffe—”
“No.” He whirls on me. “This ismyworld. It ismyhome. I cannot abandon it, Ember. I won’t.”
“Then we continue living. Continue doing what we can to keep you from completely losing your shit. It’s a viable plan.”
“That hinges on you not dying. Do you understand what will happen to me if you die? Do you realize the impact your death will have on me?”
“I do.”
“Then you understand that I will—how did you put it—lose my shit?” He moves toward me, his movements predatory. “You are what’s keeping me from completely slipping. My foothold into what is left of my soul. Should you go, so does it.”
