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I clench my eyes shut and take a deep breath before straightening and looking back at him.“It was worth a try, right?”
“It’s just—”
I shake my head.“It’s OK, Luc.I get it.You’re not interested in me in that way.It’s OK.I’m OK.I ...”have to get out of here before I lose it.
“Lonnie, we’ve got a good thing going between us.You’re one of my best friends, and the only woman in my life I’m not related to who I care about.I don’t want to lose what we have, and with your dad and family, and the firehouse, it’s just—”
“It’s OK, Luc.Honestly.Let’s just put this down to a dumb moment on my part and move on.”Well, hopefullyyoucan, ’cause I’m not sure I ever will.
He nods, but the sympathy written all over his face almost does me in.
“Catch up soon, yeah?”I say, opening the door and stepping out, not trusting myself to hold it together for another minute.“London, look at me, beautiful.Please.”
Standing in the open car door, I brace myself and bend down to meet his gentle gaze.
“Are you going to be OK?I don’t want to leave if you’re not.”
That’s when I lie to Luca Rossi for the first time in my life, knowing that it’ll be the way things have to be between us.“I’m good, Luc.Drive safe.”
“Breakfast after my shift?”he asks, and there’s no missing the hope in his voice.
“Always, Luc.Good night,” I say before I shoot him a barely convincing smile and close the door.I wave before I turn my back and do the slow walk of shame to my front door.
Lying in bed a while later, unable to sleep as I run the most embarrassing moment of my recent life over and over in my head, I decide that I’m glad I did it.I took a shot and failed.And at least Luc, being the good guy that he is, was gentle in his rejection.I can’t be sad aboutthatat least.
But I’ll get past it eventually.I have to.Because if I can’t have Luc in the way I want to have him, I can still have him as my best friend, my wingman, my platonic boyfriend…
Doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt like a bitch though.
