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“Don’t remind me.”
“Oh, never fear, Luc.Once this all comes out,everyonewill make sure you don’t forget how many times you denied that there was anything going on between you.”
I lock eyes with him so he knows I’m telling the truth.“Therewasnothing going on between us.I mean ...there isstillnothing going on ...”
“You want to change that thought, right?You’re finally stepping out of denial and realizing that you’ve been a blind-ass idiot.”
I rub the back of my neck, my head pounding with all these newfound feelings and information andeverything.I glance up toward the balcony of Lonnie’s apartment, and it hits me that if Cohen is down here, that means Scotty is up there alone with London.Jesus.“Maybe we should get back up there.”
“Hey, man.Calm down.If there’s one girl you can trust Scotty to be around, it’s London.Besides, he’s a one-woman man these days ...right?”Cohen says, not sounding as confident as the words he’s saying right now.
“Shit.We’d better go save her otherwise she’ll never let me live it down.”
“A little tip, Luc.You don’t want her to ever let you live it down.Because then you get to make it up to them and that’s—”
I slam my fingers in my ears and sing “la, la, la” loudly until Cohen bursts out laughing.
“C’mon, idiot.First step, saving London.Thenyou’ve got some thinking to do.”
I stop and frown at him.“About what?”
“About whatever you’re going to pull out of your ass to prove to your girl that you’re in this.”
“Iamin this,” I say defensively before my shoulders slump with the relief of finally admitting it out loud.
Cohen’s understanding gaze roams over my face as he nods.“Yeah, you are, and I believe you.But you’re going to have a hell of a job convincingherto believe it.Because you weren’t a dick about it, but we all know that she’s had a crush on you for a while now.”
“Youallknow?”I ask, my heart rate spiking at the thought that I might have done something that could have made my girl look like a lovesick fool.
“Within the family, sure.The firehouse?Maybe just Zach and Rhodes.”
I groan and scrub my hands over my face.“What the hell am I going to do, Co?”
“That’s something only you can figure out.But a word of advice ...get some help, because Lord knows, you’re going to need it this time.”
“Gee, thanks for the overwhelming support, Co.”
He shrugs.“Take it from someone who’s been there before—you can deny you’ve caught feelings all you want, but at the end of the day, you’re the one who has to own up to the lie, then try and make up for it before it’s too late.”
I nod, my brain still far too raw and full ofeverythingto think about what and how andwhenI might do anything about this.
What Idoknow is that this isn’t a situation where I can just say “fuck it” and fly by the seat of my pants.No.This needs a plan.A calculated, measured plan, one with a thorough risk-assessment carried out before I action it, just like I’d undertake if I was doing a SITREP at a fire scene.
“But if you want my advice,” Cohen says, interrupting my thoughts, “Valentina is the key.Because if you can convinceheryou’re all in, she’ll be the greatest wing woman you’ve ever had.”
“Ugh,” I groan.“Why does this have to be sohard.I’m thirty-eight years old.I should know how to deal with falling for someone.”
Cohen’s lips twitch as he reaches out and cups my shoulder.“I don’t think any of us ever really know how to deal with it.But I promise you this—you get it right, and you’ll never regret it for the rest of your life.”
And as I follow Co back inside and spot a smiling and laughing Lonnie standing there while Scotty animatedly tells her a story about God knows what, my panic subsides but a new feeling settles inside me.
It’s fear ...but not the exhilarating kind that I feel whenever I’m sent into a burning building.This is deep-seated terror that threatens to paralyze me.
Because more than any other time before, I’m realizing just how much of an idiot I’ve been, and I’m worried that it took me too long to catch up..
Too long to see what was right in front of me the whole damn time.
I can only hope that it’s not too late.
