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22
Luca
I hold my breath as I make my way out of the bedroom and head across the hall to the bathroom, closing the door and leaning back on it.I finally let go of a big, contented sigh as London’s words bounce around my head on repeat.
“Love you too.”
Did she know what she was saying?Was she evensayingit to me?Was it just a reflex from mishearing me and thinkingIsaid it first?
Whatever it was, I’m not going to let her take those words back now.They’re mine.She gave them to me, and I may have taken my sweet-ass time getting my head to listen to my heart, but that doesn’t mean those three words haven’t been branded inside of me.
Love.Romantic love.It has always been a foreign concept to me.I’ve liked seeing my brothers, my sister, and friends all meet their one and onlys and settle down happily with them, but that has never been something I’ve wanted.It was always something that could orwouldhappen eventually ...one day ...with the right person.
And until then, I was happy to just take things one day at a time.I had my career, I had family, I had friends, and for the past three years, I’ve had Lonnie.
Then a week ago, IsawLonnie how I always had been seeing her, but without a blindfold of denial on.
Yesterday, I set out to give her a day of dreams—full of things that were special to her and thatshewanted to do.Because the thing with London Kelly is that she always puts others ahead of herself, and for once, I wanted to give her a day that was all abouther.
Last night, though, the realization that my feelings ran a hell of a lot deeper than even I knew was shocking and exhilarating.And suddenly, it was like the fuse had been lit.One kiss was all it took for me toknowthat London wasitfor me.She always has been and—if I have my way—she always will be.When we made love, we were so in tune with each other.It was about give and take in equal measure, and afterward, as I lay there in my bed with my best friend sleeping in my arms, burrowing in as close as she could, Iknewthat I’d do anything to keep her there.Whatever I had to do.
Hearing her say “love you too” has me walking on air as I turn the shower on, my brain a whirl of emotions and feelings, and full of all the things I want to say to her.How I want this to be the start of something real, open, and honest, and out there for everyone to see.I want everyone to know that Lonnie is mine and I’m hers in return.I even decide that if she wants to take things slowly until she trusts that I’m committed to her andus,then it’s the very least I can do.She’s had years of having feelings for me; that’s a hell of a lot longer than being in denial for three years, like I have been.I simply wouldn’tletmyself be open to the possibility.Now, I’m kicking my own ass for wasting so much time when I could’ve had Lonnie in my arms and in my bed for a long time.
Turning the shower off, and feeling ten-foot tall and bulletproof knowing that London Kellylovesme, I dry myself off and wrap a towel around my waist.I move to the vanity, quickly shaving and fixing my bed hair.Then I make my way out the door and down the hallway to the kitchen to turn the coffee machine on before checking my watch and realizing there’s more than enough time for me to wake my girl up and hear her scream my name again before I have to leave for the firehouse.
I hum the Lonestar song that will now forever be known asoursong before stopping outside my bedroom and slowly opening the door with a wry grin on my face.
A grin that falls when I find the bed empty.Lonnie’s clothes are gone, her purse is gone—in fact, any sign that she was ever here, all of it ...is gone.
What the fuck...?
I grab my phone from the dresser and dial her number, bringing the handset to my ear and closing my eyes when it goes straight to voicemail.
I must’ve fucked up.
Or she’s regretting it ...
Luca: Beautiful, I came in to wake you up and you’re gone.Please let me know you got home safely.Otherwise I’ll see you at breakfast at the diner tomorrow after I’ve clocked off?
My phone buzzes in my hand and my head jerks down to the screen, my body relieved in the knowledge that there must be some good reason why London would sneak out while I was in the shower and not say goodbye ...or leave me a note ...or send me a text message ...
Except it’s not London’s name on my phone.It’s Marco’s.
Marco: Just so you know, we don’twantto know about how your date went, but we’re all kind of invested.Tell me now on a scale of one to ten how it went, and I’ll let the guys know before you get here so we don’t have to hearallabout it for the next twenty-four ...
My gaze is locked on the empty space and mussed up sheets where the woman I loveshouldstill be.With no time to hunt her down and find out what the hell she’s thinking.I lift my phone up and send my brother a brutally honestly reply.
Luca: Honestly, I don’t know.
When I get to work, I go straight to the locker room, checking my phone as soon as I’ve stowed my gear bag away, still holding onto the hope that everything is fine and maybe she had to leave for whatever reason.Maybe she was insucha rush that she didn’t have time to tell me.Or it escaped her mind ...
Or maybe I’m an idiot and I’m just fooling myself.
At roll call and shift handover, I’m quieter than normal, struggling to even laugh at Scotty’s usual jokes and smartass comments to the outgoing crew.I’m too distracted, running over the events of yesterday and last night while I try to work out what the hell might’ve happened and what I might’ve missed.
An MVA and a few broken down elevator calls keep us busy during the morning, but every chance I get, I’m checking my phone for any word from Lonnie.
After lunch, I take my turkey and pastrami West Sider sandwich and bottle of water with me into the bunk room, not feeling particularly sociable today.After checking my phone again and still not seeing a reply from her, I send one last text before vowing to myself to give her time and maybe some space.
