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Her face heated.He didn’t need to clarify his question since she knew what he was asking.The same question Edmond asked her then criticized her for then grew embarrassed over.He’d wanted a dignified wife, even in bed.
Rose knew she was different in this singular regard.She knew it because she’d participated in many conversations with unhappy wives who hated the sex act.Women who found it vulgar, painful, displeasing, grotesque.Rose chose to remain silent.
How could she jump from her chair, spill her tea and proclaim she found it extraordinarily pleasurable and would partake in sexual intercourse at least once a day, if she could?Or if her husband wanted to?Or if he could sustain the sorts of sexual rigor she seemed able to endure?
She’d searched a little deeper to find ways to pleasure herself.Those tools could be purchased in small shops in narrow streets around London.Nothing extravagant; nothing that needed its usage to be explained.
“Rose, I am not trying to embarrass you.I am genuinely curious.Does it have something to do with your pregnancy?Does that drive desire in a different way?”
“No.”She sat up and patted her loose hair into place.“If you don’t enjoy it so much, I can control myself as I need to.”
Matthew laughed, then laughed again.“Does it seem as if I don’t enjoy intercourse?”He turned to her and cupped her face.“Or should I say fucking?I enjoy fucking anytime, anyplace and with you I am constantly amazed by your willingness and enthusiasm.Many women will open their legs, but with great reluctance.I grew weary of that sort of chase long ago.At least with a whore, they will feign enthusiasm.With a wife?Well, I never imagined it was possible.”
“Since I was young, maybe sixteen, I wanted something.No one tells a young debutante about sexual inclinations.I did not even realize why I hurt sometimes.And then at night, I would touch where it seemed to hurt.You were right.This is embarrassing.”She brushed a finger across her nose.
“No, I’m getting aroused just thinking about young Rose stimulating herself beneath her sheets.”
“I didn’t know that’s what I was doing.I never told anyone.Even Edmond.Can your fragile self now bear a conversation about my previous husband?”Matthew just smiled.“But he knew.After six months of marriage, he told me I was ridiculous and unhinged.That a duchess would never act so brazen.It wasn’t an act.I was brazen.Sometimes desperate.”
“So, after your husband died, you took a lover?”
“You have no idea how difficult it is for a woman like me to find a man...There were times when Edmond was cruel about it, actually calling me a whore.He had no reason to be so callous.And at times, using me like a whore—roughly, uncouthly, with language I’d never heard in my life.Your little swear words are nothing compared to what Edmond said to me.”Or Cyril, but Rose wasn’t prepared to talk about him.
Matthew took her hand.“We men can be bastards.I did assume Edmond was an effeminate mouse, though.”
“What makes a man, Mr.Hardy?What makes a man worthy of a woman’s love, of his household’s devotion, of his country’s respect?I could write a novel on what actions betray the notions of manhood.”
“I suppose you are going to tell me to go to hell when I want to shag again after the next road marker?”
“I doubt I will say no until after the child is born.When the weight of being a woman returns, there will be a few days of the month when I will growl like a lioness if you try to approach me.”
“That seems important to know.So, I should be extraordinarily careful not to allow your mouth near my cock during that time?”
“It might be a good idea to not even talk to me.”
“The solution, then, seems to be keeping you with child.”
“Or send me to Paris to buy shoes.”
“After what you’ve just confessed, madam, I will barely allow you out of my sight.”Rose heard the teasing words, but she could tell he was thinking seriously about the what ifs.
“Such promises.I know how much you love making money.Alas, all I will do is spend it.”
“The Duchess of Sandhurstmighthave spent it all.In your position as Mrs.Hardy, I am quite pleased with your thriftiness.”
“You haven’t seen the receipts for the library renovations.Or the scads of books I bought at the bazaar.”
* * * * *
While the horses werebeing changed out for both carriages, they went into the coaching inn for a hearty lunch of beef stew, ale and bread.Matthew could tolerate the ale in such a place, only because they didn’t serve wine or quality liquors.Once Rose secured the children in the second carriage, they were quickly on their way again and Rose fell asleep next to him.
Matthew had given the benefit of the doubt to Edmond Elliston.Seems he was as much of a prick as his younger brother.Maybe not a treasonous, ill-tempered one, but an ass none the less.
Matthew stared out the window, watching the countryside pass by.He hadn’t seen his mother in about eight months, when he had spent a few days with her and the earl during the holiday festivals.The earl had several children from his first marriage who in turn had spouses and children.It had been a noisy, boisterous few days.He’d been both happy and sad being there.
Rose stirred.“Where are we?”
“You only slept for thirty minutes.We still have several hours to travel.Rose, who is Sandhurst’s heir?As of today.I’m excluding the fact he may marry and change that landscape.”
