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I shake my head, picturing her snuggled up on a couch watching a show that would probably put me to sleep. I lean over my best friend, pulling the leather from his mouth as I look at the wound.
“It looked worse than it really was. I’m just going to dress it for now and call Doc in the morning.”
I watch Lexi for a few minutes, rubbing at my eyes as my own arm begins to throb painfully. Seeing that she doesn't require my help anymore, I stand from my position and move toward the armchair in the corner. This fucking day is a blow up of emotions, and I honestly want it to end already. Yes, I’m fucking thankful like nothing else that we got Lexi back and my best friend is alive, but the loss of my sister weighs so fucking heavily on my entire being that all I want to do is sleep and never wake up again.
I stand from the chair, my mind beginning to run rampant with thoughts I’d rather run from than face and make my way to the kitchen. I pull open the door and grab a beer, staring at the alcohol content before deciding I need something stronger and rummaging through the cabinets for the whiskey Gio keeps hidden.
I find the bottle and use my teeth to twist off the top before taking a generous gulp. My sister lays in the Renzetti morgue right now, her cold lifeless eyes staring at the ceiling as I continue breathing. Her light snuffed out, leaving me left in the darkness alone.
I slam the bottle of whiskey down on the table and pull my pain killers from my pocket, taking three with a swig of the bitter liquid. Fuck, what I wouldn’t give for a handful of Percocet’s right now.
I lean against the counter, dropping my head between my shoulders, my tired heart ready to give out. I want to feel something other than this hollow sorrow, anything else or nothing at all.
Maxine’s eyes flash in my mind, her auburn hair swinging behind her as I chased her through the yard with the water hose after she broke a water balloon over my head. Her screams of joy echo in my mind making a chuckle slip past my lips before turning into a sob.
I smash my fist on the counter, my head hanging low while tears spill onto the tiled floor. I try to hold them back, swallow down the burn in my throat, but the memories won’t stop.
I grab the bottle and bring it to my lips, but Lexi’s voice stops me from guzzling down the rest of the harsh liquor.
“Luce?” My back is to her, and despite my desperation to feel nothing, I can’t help but feel like shit for trying to drink myself into oblivion while she’s here. Her piece of shit husband did that every day, and while I hope she knows I’d never raise a hand to her no matter how fucking wasted I was, I still know it isn’t right for me to do this around her.
I put the bottle down and turn to face her, wiping my eyes quickly.
“Gio all patched up?” I ask as she rounds the island, coming to a stop beside me, her eyes on the liquor and pill bottle behind me.
I can see the questions and worry in the way she chews on her bottom lip, but before I can give her half-truths and lies, she clears her throat as she looks up at me.
“Yes, he’s sleeping deeply now, but I’d like to clean you up too…please?” She speaks to me like she’s dealing with a wounded animal, and if I’m being honest with myself, that’s exactly what I am. Still, I’m slightly confused by what she means.
I feel my brows furrow, trying to remember if I’ve been hurt or not, but she hesitantly cups the side of my face, tilting my head down toward her, and I remember the bullet graze on my temple.
“Really, Lex, I’m fine. I forgot it was even there.” I try to soothe her worry, but I don’t move, her touch too comforting to even think of stepping away.
“I can see you forgot,” she chuckles softly, “but that doesn’t mean it disappeared. I don’t want it getting infected.”
She moves back, and I’m disappointed with the loss of her touch, but then she takes my much larger hand in her small one and pulls me to the guest restroom. She pushes me down onto the toilet, grumbling about how tall her boys are, and I can’t even begin to explain how primal it makes me feel to be considered one of her men.
I may not have the exact same emotions for Lexi as Gio does -mine are on a much darker level of obsession- but the light she carries with her constantly speaks to me in ways no one else ever has.
“Stay right here, okay?” She warns me before rushing back toward Gio’s room. I chuckle to myself, grateful she managed to rid my mind of the overwhelming grief for even just a moment, making me just that much more addicted to her. Lexi is a healer, not just because she’s good with superficial wounds and shit, but because her presence can chase away even the darkest thoughts and bring a little warmth to my soul. She has the ability to rid my heart of disease the way a flame purifies a needle.
Lexi’s light, though tainted with pain and loss, purges my darkness any time she’s near, and I don’t think I’d be able to survive the next chapters of my life if she were to cut me out.
My phone buzzes in my pocket, Drake’s name on the notifications.
Devil:G isn’t answering, and I’m ready to send a fucking hitman over to his place if he doesn’t pick up.
Me:He finally crashed the fuck out.
Devil:Bout fucking time. Any news?
I know he’s asking about Lexi and my sister, but I don’t think I can answer all the questions he’ll have, especially if there’s a potential clean-up he’ll have to worry about, so I decide to lie for now.
Devil:Word got to me about the hotel. What happened?
Well, there goes my plan.
Me:No clean-up will be required, boss, but we will need a few days off. We got a funeral to plan for my sister.
I see that he read the message, but he doesn’t type back, so I go to toss it on the counter until I see his text come through.
Devil:I will pay for it all, she was famiglia too. On my oath, this won’t sit like this, he will pay for it.
Me:Grazie capo.
