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I will. Tonight, I will keep the future far from my mind. Tonight, I will pretend that I'm all that matters to Leo. If I must face the truth later, I will.
"I do take what I want, Dice. I do so without hesitation, but I want you to take what's right in front of you. Nothing is handed out in this world, nothing is freely given so when you see something worth your time, you have to take it."
My brows furrow, "Are you saying I'm on a time limit? Accept now or lose you forever?"
Leo steps back but grabs on to my hand, "Seasons change. Time passes. Everything has a time limit, but I will not let you go. I’ll still be here. Tell me, am I like your ma, wasting time watering dead roses?"
Without waiting for me to reply, he begins to guide me by the elbow as I mull over his words.
Even as we stand in a silent elevator, I continue to dissect his words, but even as we are seated and facing the beautiful view of the Michigan lake, I still don’t have an answer.
Leo's eyes are on me. He seems to enjoy how my face displays awed wonderment at the view before us.
The city lights twinkle and glimmer off the water's surface. The yachts and boats along the boardwalks bob in the water as the passengers drink and party on their decks.
Things are so small from up here and I can't imagine what it must feel like right outside the window.
Would falling from this height feel freeing? Would you feel like you're flying until you hit the ground?
Pretty dark thoughts, but when you're stuck on the ground all your life... flying free is all you want.
I pull my eyes from the floor to ceiling windows when the server brings us a bottle of Armand de Brignac.
After he serves us both glasses of the bubbly drink, he asks us what we'd like to eat.
He has an Italian accent, and I can't help but wonder if it's fake for effect.
I look at the menu and see it's all in Italian. God, I feel so out of place here. Why couldn't we eat at a pizzeria? Some place where the damn menu is in boring old English and the prices are on display.
I feel my cheeks burning as I pretend to scan the menu, but Leo speaks to the server in fluent Italian. Such a beautiful language, much like my own native tongue, but slightly different.
I wish I had been able to learn more than two languages.
When the server leaves, Leo stands and walks around the table to sit next to me, the room to our front.
He puts his arm over the back of my chair, "If that blush is because you don't know the language, just know that it took me years to learn it and I'm still not very good at it."
With the back of his finger, he brushes the apple of my cheek softly.
The action has me breaking a little, "I almost canceled tonight." I feel my throat tighten up like it's begging me to shut the hell up, but it's only fair to admit this to a man who basically told me he's working toward something with me and wants me to eventually mirror that affection.
I can't continue to act like nothing's bothering me; like I have no fears.
Leo nods like he figured I would. He taps my lips once and sits back, letting me feel comfortable enough to speak my thoughts. I lift my glass to my lips and drink the delicious champagne before talking.
"My mother has been alone all my life. She has never given a man her attention because my father broke her with his false promises. Filling her heart and womb with hope and love only to never show his face again."
I shake my head and look out the windows, watching the waves hitting the rocky shore.
"All my life, I've said, I'm riding the waves. It used to be fine with me. I've long ago accepted that I wasn't worthy of my father's love, not even his attention. I've willingly ridden the waves of life knowing that each wave and crash of water is to be expected. Sometimes the waves are painful, sometimes they drag me under and squeeze the air from my body, but I always swim to the top."
I look into Leo's nighttime eyes, "Are you an undercurrent, grasping at my ankles to pull me further from shore; a stormy wave trying to take me under for good? You asked me if I'm like the dead roses, but I have the same queries. Are we moving to land? Are you swimming with me or against me, Leo?"
Leo begins to answer, but the Head Chef comes out of the kitchen with the servers trailing behind him. They stop at our table while everyone else in the restaurant rubber necks at us.
Their whispers reach my ears.
Who are they? Are they famous?
