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My heart ached. Here he was, saving me again. Saving me from my emotions, saving me from my loneliness. His words from the party echoed in my ears.I won’t touch you, until you admit you want it too.
Lifting my head, I met his eye and slid my hands up to brush my fingers over the stubble lining his jaw. “Fuck me.”
He blinked but didn’t pull away. “What?”
“I’ve wanted you since I got here, since we ran into each other in the arcade, and I need to spend this energy. So…” I swallowed trying to hold on to my composure. “Fuck me. Rip my clothes off, taste me. Do everything you promised at Maria’s party.”
His eyes drifted closed, and his forehead touched mine again. “You don’t know what you’re asking, Snow.”
I laced my fingers into his hair and tugged on it sharply, pulling him back up to look at me. “Yes, I do.”
Jamie growled and his hands tightened on my forearms, as he hauled me closer, pulling me flush with his body. He shifted my weight onto his lap, and then pivoted around to lay me beneath him. My back found the wet grass, and he kissed me. Hard and fast. His hips ground into the soft space between my legs and I moaned. He was already hard.
His hand slipped down my side, hooking my right leg around his hip and then he froze as my hands started on his belt. He pulled back, lifting his weight off me.
“No.”
I blinked at him through the rain. “What?”
“I’m not going to fuck you,” he said pulling away. “Not like this.”
My jaw dropped, and I shook my head, clearing the rain from my eyes. “I don’t understand.”
He dropped his head to my shoulder, and then pulled away more definitively, sitting back on his heels. “I can’t do this.”
Pulling myself out from under him, I slid back along the grass. He was saying no. He was rejecting me. After all those years of chasing me, and tormenting me, I was finally willing to give him what he wanted, and he’d said no.
“I knew it.” I muttered, shaking my head. “I knew it. You haven’t’ changed. No one bit.”
“Please understand,” he said, reaching for me. “I want to, but I can’t.”
I scrambled away from him. “No! Don’t touch me.”
“Snow—”
“My name is Eve!” I snapped, getting to my feet. “Eve. It’s three letters. It’s not that fucking hard.”
He held up his hands and got up off the ground. “I’m sorry. Please. Just listen to me. Let’s go to my house across the street. We can talk. Dry off.”
I shook my head again, more slowly this time. “No. I’m not going anywhere with you.”
“Sn—Eve. Please. There are things we need to talk about,” he said.
I held up my hand. I wasn’t going to stick around and wait for him to hold his rejection over my head. Turning on my heal, I walked in the direction of the gate, and back out to my car. I shut myself inside and looked up to find Jamie standing at my front bumper. His grey shirt was soaked through, clinging to his chest, his hair slicked down against his forehead, but he made no move to stop me as I started the car and backed away from him, driving my way back into the heart of the town. The water running over my skin felt like ice, but my lips burned.
I’d kissed Jamie Hart. I’d almost done more than that with Jamie Hart. What was wrong with me? I hit the steering wheel growling in frustration. “Stupid. Stupid. Stupid.”
Why couldn’t things ever be easy? Why couldn’t my father just tell the truth? Now I couldn’t even ask him about why he lied, because he was gone, and Annie was gone. I had no one left.
Slamming the car into park outside Maria’s house, I ignored the front door, and walked around to the back yard. I heard her back door open, but she didn’t call for me as I strode past the back porch and down the yard into the trees that lined the back of her property.
I pulled my shirt off over my head, tossing it as I walked, undid my pants, and kept walking until all my clothes were gone and I was able to shift out of my human form. My wolf paws scraped over the grass and brambles spread across the forest floor and I started running.
Faster and faster through the trees, out into the wild ranges the pack usually used for their hunting. I hung wide to the north, only slowly down as the ground became steep, and whitewashed stones began jutting up from the earth. The stones became ruins, an old castle hidden in the trees. The first home of the wolves in Cape Luna. Reaching the bottom of what was the last remaining structure, I looked up at the tower, and made my way inside.
Everything looked exactly as I’d left it, but I still tested each stair before I put my weight on them. Sure of my safety, I wound my way up to the upper floor, and sniffing for any sign of intruders, and then sighed in relief as I padded out onto my balcony. I was the only wolf, the only person really who ever came to the ruins. It was good to know that hadn’t changed in the time I was gone.
Lying down in a ball, just inside out of the rain, I watched the sky. No one would bother me here. I was safe in my tower. Safe from the liars, safe from my darkness.
How could my father have lied to me for so long? Why wouldn’t Annie have told me? What was so difficult about the truth? Who was Selene Beaumont? Why did she abandon me? Was something wrong with me?
My mind went round and round. Why couldn’t I stay away from Jamie? He was there every time I turned around, and when he wasn’t I couldn’t help but wonder where he was.
Huffing, I shook out my fur. Why did I care? Jamie was an ass. Adrian was an ass. I had to figure out a way to get him to set me free. I’d missed Maria, and I owned property now, but I couldn’t stay here anymore. Cape Luna was ruined for me. I couldn’t breathe here.
The tower was my only safe space. The only place I could truly rest my eyes.
