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“We’re pregnant?” he asks. I see elation in his eyes – pure satisfaction at the thought of being a father.
I say, “I could be, Essex. I haven’t taken a test.”
He climbs over me again and kisses me down to my stomach, tattering kisses all over my belly. “My baby is here?”
Giggling, I say, “Essex, I don’t know for sure.”
“All right. We’ll know shortly.” He jumps up and says, “Get dressed.”
I gather the sheet over my body and ask, “Where are we going?”
“To the doctor.”
“Essex, I can’t just roll up to the doctor without an appointment.”
“Okay, then we’ll go to one of those pharmacy stores. Don’t they sell tests?”
“Yes, but it can wait until the morning. I don’t feel like leaving at the moment.”
“Then I’ll go by myself. I’ll be right back.”
I lie in bed elated that we’re back on track. I don’t know if I’m pregnant or not, but it would be a blessing to be a mother. I’ve always wanted children – thought I’d have my first child sooner than thirty-four, but I’m grateful.
Essex is back in record time, handing me the box. I read it over and say, “Ess, according to this, it’s best to do the test in the morning.”
“No—not waiting that long. We’re doing this right now.”
I climb out of bed, take the box, and lock myself in the bathroom to give him time to settle his nerves. It doesn’t work. He’s even more anxious, tapping on the door, asking if I did it yet. While the deed has been done, I’ve been bracing myself to take a peep at the test as it lies on the vanity.
“Tessie, open the door.”
I open the door and look at him.
“Well?” he asks.
“I haven’t looked at it yet.”
“Why are you playing with my emotions?” he asks.
“I’m not, Essex,” I say, amused. “I was waiting for you to read the results.”
He walks into the bathroom, looks at the pregnancy test stick, and says, “There are two lines here. What does that mean?” He turns around and looks at me and asks, “Does that mean we’re…pregnant?”
I nod while my eyes fill with tears.
“We’re pregnant?”
“Yes.”
He drops to his knees on the bathroom floor and hides his face behind his hands. His body trembles as he cries tears of joy.
I lower myself to the floor in front of him. He doesn’t like to show vulnerability, but here he is, crying tears of happiness.
“I can’t believe any of this,” he says.
“Any of what?”
“That I have you, and you’re pregnant with my child. I never thought I’d have children.”
“Why not?”
“Because I only wanted to have them with you, and it took a long time for us to get here. I never thought that we would, Tessie. I love you more than anything in this world and I promise you I will love you and our babies for the rest of my life.”
I wrap my arms around him and hold him close to me. I hold him for all the days he didn’t think he was good enough. Hold him to assure him that I trust him, believe him and I know he means what he says because Essex DePaul is a man of action, passion and love. He’s a man who’s suffered, who endured and who left his heart open for love no matter how mean and rude he tried to be. In the end, he only wanted what we all need – love.
