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“Yeah, Ella. I’m listening.”
“You’re making the wrong move. Men like Essex want to parade you around like a trophy. Youarehis trophy. And you know what else, Quin?”
“What?”
“I’m willing to bet he would choose you over all of this stuff.”
“How do you know that?”
“Look at how much he went through to get you. Duh! As freaky as it is, he became a whole person for you. Anyway, chick, I have to go eat some bread to soak up all this alcohol in my stomach. I’m drinking water for the rest of the evening.”
“Please do.”
As night approaches, the party gets wilder. Ella’s passed out on a bench. Jake pushed Zahara into one of the pools, then jumped in after her, both fully clothed, prompting others to jump in while still dressed in their formal attire.
Shanice climbed up on a table and fell face first into a beautifully decorated coconut cake and then started eating it with her hands like an unsupervised toddler. Ian is dancing by the pool with no shoes on, trying to do some stupid TikTok dance. His movements in no way match up to the beat of this song, and I don’t know how he split his pants – he probably doesn’t know either and if he does, he’s having too much fun to care. The receptionist – the sweet lady who works in the lobby – has stripped down to her bra and panties, rocking it like a two-piece swimsuit as she steps into the hot tub, joining some more folks who’ve fallen asleep up in there.
The executives are the ringleaders in this madness – wildin’ out more than theregularemployees. Susan Musk jumped up on a light pole like she was practicing pole dancing. The lady has to be pushing sixty. She’s the only woman out here wearing pantyhose and here I was thinking they’d gone extinct along with flip phones and Walkmans. Denise Zubar is throwing the five dollar bills she won from the money machine at Susan like she’s the entertainment. Just when I thought Linda May was the onlysaneexec, I watch her put a handful of steamed jumbo shrimp into her purse. She didn’t wrap them up or anything – just dropped them in. Makes me wonder why an executive who makes six figures feels the need to hoard shrimp.
Greta and her husband are doingda butt– a dance nobody does in 2022. They’ve been slapping their osteoarthritis hips together to just about every song while mixing in a little of thecabbage patchfor variety.
Old man Theodore Cruz heads over to me. He reminds me of the actor Eric Roberts – the white actor with the crazy good bone structure. He says, “You’re new here, ain’t you?”
Jeez…is he drunk, too?
“Why do you ask?”
“Look around—looks like you’re the only one who hasn’tpartookethof these here free libations. The only thing I have to say to that is, what the heck is wrong with you?”
Tickled, I respond, “I havepartooketh. I just know when to stop-eth.”
“She’s just a Miss Goody Two-Shoes, Mr. Cruz. That’s why she chose to come here and be abstemious,” Essex says, walking up behind me, popping a Circus Peanut into his mouth like a Tic-Tac. I didn’t know he was lurking. Stalking.
Dang, he’s so fine – already have my lady parts throbbing.
“Oh, is that what it is, boss?” Theodore asks.
“It is, and she knows it.”
“Well, I think it’s high time we did something to fix that problem. What say you, DePaul?”
“I’ll take it from here, Mr. Cruz. Go enjoy yourself.”
When he walks away, Essex says, “He is right, though. You can stand to loosen up a bit.”
“Why? So I can have icing all over my face like your executive assistant? No thanks. She’s going to have a world of trouble trying to get all that up out of that lace front.”
Essex grins as he glances over at Shanice sitting on the table eating cake out of her hands.
“I have just a small suggestion for you,” I tell him. “I think you should stop serving alcohol at this event. Looks like that movieOffice Christmas Partyout here except it’s not Christmas and the owner of the company isn’t a moron.”
“Good to know I’m not a moron. Thank you, wife.”
I look at him, watching him form a closed-mouth smile. He says, “I’m glad I don’t have to clean this up.”
“You couldn’t handle spilled coffee, so I know you wouldn’t be able to handle this. This is far worse.”
“That’s why I have people on the payroll. Bosses pay people to take care of things they don’t have time for.”
