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“You walked away, and it was like you died,” I said. My back was bowed. I was in pieces, Theo’s image so shattered in my mind that it was hard to fathom he stood before me. Whole.
Theo’s alive. Thank God he’s alive.
“You didn’t come back,” I said. “You didn’t give me any sort of sign that you were okay or do anything to make me believe what we had was real or important. You might as well have been buried before my eyes.”
Theo made a move to step closer, but after a low warning from me, stayed where he was. “What I did … it was difficult for me, too.”
“No,” I said, much louder than I intended. “You didn’thaveto leave me at the hospital without a goodbye. You didn’thaveto cut off all contact with me for years, you didn’tlove—”
“I left you in the hospital so you wouldn’t die there, by my brother or any other of my family’s hands. I stopped speaking to you for the same reason, because we’d gotten too close, you were too involved, and despite doing everything in my power to keep you safe, you got shot. Right in front of me. You were nearly killed, Scarlet, and not because of anything you did, but because I became part of your life.”
While listening, I forgot to close my mouth. I had to swallow, bring back my saliva, before saying, “I’ve heard that excuse before. I believe it was when you were stroking my face telling me everything was going to be okay. It was my choice to stay with you.”
“You’re saying that a lot lately, aren’t you? Your choice.”
I froze, my mouth falling open again.
“Another argument of yours I should point to—my leaving you for years. You really think that’s true? I’ve watched you, Scarlet, since the first time you were wheeled out of the hospital and brought to your parents in Westchester. From the time you recovered enough to move back to the city. The moment you took your first seat back with the cards. The second you realized you could make it a prolific—albeit dangerous—career. The deeper you sank, the harder I swam. I saw it all, Scarlet. And if I couldn’t be there, then someone I trusted was.”
“So you had me followed?” I swept my arms out. “Where now we’ve ended up on a luxury yacht with a crazy gun trader and this is the time you decide to reveal yourself?”
“Don’t pretend like you didn’t know what you were doing, basically diving off cliffs—”
“—I didn’t need you lurking behind the scenes!” I shouted. “I wanted you here, beside me! And you’re telling me you were with me the entire time, witnessing mebegfor you. Did you have cameras installed in my home, too? My friends followed? What else,Sax?” I asked, using the name his mafia family preferred to call him. “How else did you make me into your pawn? Did I do everything you wanted? Is that why you’re here? Mission accomplished?”
“No cameras. But I saw you break.” Theo continued, nonplussed, “I knew the moment you accepted I wasn’t coming back and can pinpoint the exact time you plunged yourself into this deadly game of spinning knives you keep asking to be a part of.”
“Just because you’re here doesn’t mean everything’s fixed and I’ll stop.”
His eyes closed, Theo’s first sign of exhaustion. “I’m here to try.”
“So, I finally put myself in enough peril to get you to show your face, huh?”
“Yes, your plan succeeded.” His tone wasn’t dry, or flat. It was simply him. Theo. And he was telling me in no uncertain terms that I was being an idiot.
As if I didn’t know that.
“You’ve gone too far, Scarlet.”
“Which means I’m close.”
“Stop looking for him.”
I bared my teeth. “Never.”
“You have no one at your disposal, do you understand that? The police, the FBI, they can’t be around you anymore because you’re too unruly. Your friends, Verily and that boy Noah, they’re not in your life anymore because you walk too dangerous of a line. You’re estranged from your parents for the same reason. You’re doing this alone, Scarlet, and you are creating a situation where I might not be able to get you out of it.”
“Until this moment, I assumed you weren’t anywhere near me. You think I stepped into Neri’s helicopter thinking you were going to be on the other end?No,Sax. I did it because I’m getting closer to Trace.”
“And what did you think Neri Sebastiani could give you?”
“Information,” I spat.
“And then what? What will you do once you’ve confronted Trace?”
“Kill him.”
At last, I startled him enough that he stiffened. “No. That’s not in your blood.”
