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CHAPTER SEVEN
Asher
I hadn’t been trying to make a joke. I was as serious as a hundred-car pileup on Hwy 101 during rush hour traffic. There had to be something I could do to make her realize the mistake she would be making. I picked up her hand, and her eyes shot to mine. The emerald pools sparkled with the glow of alcohol. I’ll admit, the whiskey was beginning to take effect, but I knew how much liquor Melody could handle before she was no longer in charge of her mental faculties. Two shots were nothing. This girl could drink a two-hundred-pound linebacker under the table. I’d only seen her completely plastered once. And that was because she hadn’t eaten that entire day. I knew she’d eaten today because we’d had humongous burgers at the Relish Bar just three hours ago when we took a break from clearing out my mom’s house.
Tonight’s little “session,” as we always called them, wasn’t about drinking ourselves stupid this time. Not in my mind. I didn’t want to be drunk. I didn’t want her to be drunk. Actually, I needed to be sober and wanted her sober. But I needed just this little edge to give me the courage to do what I knew needed to be done. I needed her here. I needed her to be in this moment with me. I needed to be with her. At that moment, I needed her on so many fucking levels. My mom’s letter…it had gotten to me, I had to admit. But it wasn’t the only thing eating away at my soul. I had family. I had to come to terms with that, I knew that. But Melody and Ted were family too, and I couldn’t let Melody make the biggest mistake of her life without at least trying to stop her. And I was running out of time. Her date with Alex was approaching fast, and everything that Ted had said last night about Melody and me had me wondering.
I knew that making her believe I needed a “session” would keep her here as long as I wanted or needed. That’s the way we rolled.
I put my hand around the neck of the bottle of Jack, but I didn’t pick it up. I was stalling. She sat, waiting patiently, not saying a word because this was my show. I’d started it, and it was a rule that whoever started the session had complete say over everything for the duration of the meeting. The other person was simply there as support. Once I spoke, she could respond.
“Mel, please don’t sleep with Alex.”
“Asher, why can’t you just let me do what I want?” she asked.
“Because I know you don’t want to do that.”
“Yes, I do. I want to have sex.” She picked up the small throw pillow from the corner of the sofa and hugged it to her chest. “I’m twenty-one and I’ve never done it. I want to know what it feels like. I’m always with you when we go out, so guys never approach me. It makes it hard to find a reasonable lay when you’re always looming in the background. Alex likes me and he’s not afraid of you. He’s all I have.”
I almost didn’t know what to say to that. I felt bad that she thought I was the reason that guys never asked her out. Had she really never been on a date before? Was it really because of me? I thought back. She might be right. She never went out on the nights when I had a date. She always stayed at home. I knew this because she’d always tell me about some stupid movie she’d get sucked into every time I had a date. I was her best friend and I was the one who she partied with, went to bars with, or whatever. Yeah, I guess to another guy it might seem like she and I were a couple. Keep them from approaching. Of course, that never stopped me from pursuing a beautiful woman. But maybe that was just the difference between men and women. And Melody wasn’t the type to ask a man out, that was for damn sure. So, it was up to me.
“Letmebe your first.”
“What?” Her eyes grew huge and her eyebrows rose. She placed the pillow back down beside her.
I cleared my throat. I hadn’t realized those five little words would create a lump in my throat. The prospect of hernotwanting me hadn’t occurred until that very moment.
“I said, let me be your first,” I repeated suddenly, feeling like a fool for even asking. Her first experience with sex should be with someone she loved, or at least someone she thought she loved or liked a lot. In a romantic way. Not me. But I cared a lot for Melody, and I could take care of her and make sure her first time was wonderful.
She placed her hand around the neck of the bottle of whiskey to pick it up, but I stopped her by wrapping my hand around her wrist.
“No more.”
“I think I’m going to need one more shot because I thought you just said you wanted to have sex with me.”
“I did. But I want you sober. You’re going to want to remember your first time.”
“But, Asher. Oh my God. Really? You want to have sex with me?”
Before I realized it, my hand was behind her head again, the same way it had been that afternoon. God, I’d been very tempted then to do what my mind and body wanted to do right now, but we’d been in the wrong place. Standing in the living room of my mother’s house was not the right environment. I tugged her close now, and instead of resting my forehead against hers, my mouth pressed against her beautiful heart-shaped lips. When her lips parted out of what was most likely pure astonishment, I slipped my tongue through and let the sweet taste of whiskey mingle against our tongues. It wasn’t until that very moment that I realized how much I’d been aching to kiss her. She didn’t stop me like I’d thought she might; instead, she moaned into my mouth. I couldn’t help the smile that graced my face as I continued to kiss her.
She’d actually moaned during the kiss. I kissed her gently then stared into her eyes for some sign that she was on board with this.
“Asher?”
“It’s not your turn to talk,” I said, trying to stick to the rules of our session. When she opened her mouth to protest, I silenced her with another kiss.
This time, she palmed my chest while her other hand barely touched the side of my waist. She kept her hands still, as if she were afraid to move them.
I reluctantly eased away, but held her gaze with mine, palming her cheeks so she couldn’t look away. That kiss had been explosive, and I had to take a moment to adjust my train of thought.
“I think it’s the only solution. You want to have sex for the experience. Alex will only hurt you. He’ll fuck you one night and flaunt someone else in your face the next. You’ll feel horrible and used. I can’t let that happen. So, let me be your first. We’re friends. Best friends. You know I won’t hurt you. You know I care about your feelings. Care aboutyou.We’ve been friends our entire lives. We’re comfortable with each other. I know you like I know the back of my own hand. Who would be better to have sex with for your first time than me?” I let go of her, and she looked down at her hands. I was confident that I’d be able to have sex with Melody and continue our friendship. We’d never let anything like sex come between us.
“You want to have intercourse with me so that I can experience it. No other reason?”
“Yeah. No strings attached. After that, you can go out with whomever you want. I won’t say a word about it.”
She bit her bottom lip. Something she did whenever she was contemplating something.
“And after we do it, I go home and we pretend it never happened.”
“Yeah.” If that’s the way she wanted it, I could do that. I’d had sex just for the pleasure of having it, knowing I’d never call or be with the woman again. I could be Mel’s first and then step aside, allow her to find her true love. But I’d never be able to stand aside and let someone hurt her the way I knew someone like Alex would.
