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CHAPTER SIXTEEN
Melody
Sitting on stage with Ash was a bit surreal. I’d been watching him up here for the past six months, always wishing I could be up here with him. And now I was.
The club was packed, and my stomach felt a bit uneasy. I hadn’t eaten much over the past several days, and Ash had made me eat a cheeseburger earlier. It was probably the first solid food I’d ingested since the horrible morning I found out about Ted. I still wasn’t able to eat much, but Ash said if I didn’t eat, he wouldn’t let me sing. So I gave in and ate half of the burger. Now I regretted every bite because I felt as if I might lose the entire meal.
I took a deep breath. Stage fright was not something I ever thought I’d have, but I was nervous as hell.
We started out with two of my favorite songs, which made it easier on me. The first was a soft ballad; the second was a rock song. When we finished the second one, I took a sip from the bottle of water sitting next to me. I looked at Ash with a smile gracing my lips, searching for a clue as to the next song he wanted to do. He began strumming, and I stopped smiling. I didn’t think I could do that song.
“Come on, Mel. You can do this,” he whispered and sang the first line of Elton John’sYour Song. I swallowed to try and dislodge the ragged rock stuck in my throat. This song had too much meaning. It was too soon, and I shook my head. How could he do this song? Wasn’t it too soon for him, too? His mother had died not so long ago, and then Ted, but Ash kept on strumming the chords, waiting for me to join in. It didn’t seem like he was going to back down.
I sang the first line, a bit timidly, staring at Ash the entire time. Then the second verse. By the end of the first chorus, we were singing to Teddy together. This was his song.
It was probably the most difficult thing I’d ever done, but I managed to get through it. And I felt better for it. Ash pulled me in for a hug when we finished singing it. I wondered if he realized how much his hug meant to me. How much I needed it from him. He’d been keeping his distance, and I was completely confused. He was my best friend, and yeah, he’d been around me almost constantly since Ted died, but he hadn’t been close. Not like before. Before the sex.
We were well into the fourth song when my heart skipped several beats. Alex Clayton sat down at the table directly in front of me and he had some woman with him, of course. It wasn’t that I was upset about that, I didn’t really care who he was with, but it was just disturbing that he would sit right in front of me and stare directly into my eyes as if to say, “Fuck you, bitch. I don’t need to pop your virginity.” At least, that’s what his stare said to me as he smirked before turning to kiss the woman briefly on her lips.
I glanced at Ash, and he was frowning at Alex. No surprise there. I knew how he felt about the jerk. I hadn’t talked to Ash about what had happened between Alex and me, or should I say, whatdidn’thappen. I was a bit embarrassed to admit that he’d been right, and I didn’t want him gloating or saying, “I told you so.”
This was the first moment I’d actually had a chance to think about Alex since the tragedy that stole my brother. But now that I saw Alex again, I was glad that I hadn’t given in to him. I was actually sort of relieved that he’d revealed exactly what his true intentions were with me. He could have just lied about his feelings toward me and continued with his seduction. Told me how much he liked me, how he couldn’t get me out of his head. A number of romantic lines came to mind. Not that I would have given in to him, no matter what. But he could have played the “Oh come on’s,” a little longer until he took me home. I had to commend him on quickly ending the date so I didn’t need to keep saying no.
The song we were in the middle of ended, and I picked up my bottle of water, ready to start the next one, but was grateful when Asher spoke into the microphone.
“Thank you all for coming out on this cold night. Melody and I will be right back after a short break.”
We propped our guitars against our chairs and headed backstage.
“You okay?” Ash asked.
“Yeah.”
“You sure? Because I can have that asshole removed if you’d like.”
“No. I’m fine. It’s okay.” I thought of telling Ash right then that I hadn’t had sex with Alex, but for some reason, I didn’t think it was any of his business and decided to keep the entire night to myself. Let him think what he wanted. He didn’t care anyway. He hadn’t bothered to even ask me about that night. If he cared, he would have asked.
After our short break, we went back on stage and played until ten. There was a larger band starting at ten-thirty that was more for the dancing crowd, suited more for those late-night want-to-find-someone-to-take-home-and-fuck singles. Like Alex.
“Want a shot to celebrate our first performance together?” Asher asked.
“Sure.”
We strolled to the bar, and Asher ordered two shots of Patron Silver. He handed one to me.
“Thanks.”
“To us,” he said.
I gave him a weak smile, knowing he was talking about the performance, wishing he were talking about our relationship. Whatever it had become wasn’t the same. Now it was more of an awkward, walk-on-eggshells kind of friendship, with us avoiding the sexual tension that I knew was one-sided. I dreaded the conversation about Alex.
I downed the shot the same as Asher had, but something felt horribly wrong in my stomach. I ran to the bathroom and made it just in time for the vomit to land in the toilet. God, I felt sick. I rinsed my mouth out and pressed some damp, cool, paper towels against my cheeks and forehead. The coolness felt good on my skin, and some of the pink color in my cheeks came back. I wiped the black smudges of mascara from below my eyes from the tears that came automatically while I’d been throwing up. The door to the restroom opened and two women walked in. One was the woman who had been sitting with Alex.
“I can’t believe I’m finally on a date with Alex,” she said to her friend as she entered one of the stalls. “He is so yummy, and the way he kisses, wow! That was by far the best kiss of my life. I hope it doesn’t seem awkward tomorrow at work.”
The best kiss she’d ever had? And she worked with him? Yuck. I wanted to throw up again as I listened to her go on about him. I thought about warning her of what his intentions were, but decided that might not be received as well as I would hope. And they might just think I was eavesdropping and that I should mind my own business. Besides, if she worked with Alex, then she probably already knew that he’d been making his way around, sampling all the women at the office as well as at the club. I left the bathroom, not wanting to hear any more.
“You okay?” Asher asked when I came back to find him still at the bar.
