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CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE
Asher
I’d sat outside on the swing for about forty-five minutes, getting up the nerve to go up and talk to Mel. I’d been a complete ass. I didn’t know how to fix that. I didn’t think there was a way. How do you take back accusing the woman you’ve known your whole life of sleeping with someone she never slept with? Accusing him of being the father ofyourchild.
After Mel had told me to leave the cottage, I closed the door and just sat at the top of the stairs. I didn’t know where to go.
I didn’t feel right going into Brodie’s house. The three of us still needed to talk, but I wasn’t ready to talk about brothers, not now when I had to deal with being a father.
“I’ve been there.” I looked up to see Brodie standing a few steps below me. He took the last two steps up, sat beside me, and handed me a beer. I took it. Mostly because my throat was raw and my mouth was as dry as sandpaper.
“Thanks.” I took a large swig.
“Sure.” He drank some from the other bottle he held. “I know what you’re going through,” he said. “I was wrong before when I called your mother irresponsible. Brothers or not, you didn’t deserve that. I’m sorry.”
“It’s okay,” I said.”
“No, it’s not.” He sighed. “I’d gotten a girl pregnant shortly after we graduated from high school. Talk about irresponsible. I was so irresponsible on so many levels. To make a long story short, it didn’t turn out very well. She didn’t tell me she was pregnant until after she’d had an abortion. She never gave me the opportunity to want to be a part of her and the baby’s life.”
I had the beer bottle up to my lips to drink but stopped. He’d caught me completely off guard with that one.
“Wow. That must have been tough.”
“Yeah. It took a long time to get over. Even though my experience is very different than yours and Mel’s, I thought it might help to know that I sort of know what it feels like. At least the irresponsible part.” He laughed.
“Mel won’t even talk to me after what I accused her of. How could I be so stupid and actually think it was someone else’s? She’ll never forgive me for that, and I wouldn’t blame her.”
“I don’t know, Ash. I’ve seen the way she looks at you. That look doesn’t happen unless there’s something there.”
“One can only hope.”
“Listen, about this brother thing...”
“Don’t worry about it. As soon as Mel is ready, we’ll leave and get out of your life.”
He shook his head. “It’s always been just Jackson and me. I feel sort of cheated, you know?”
“What do you mean?”
“Our dad. He told you about us, but he never told us about you. You’ve known for practically your whole life that you had brothers. You knew someday you’d meet them and you’ve been preparing for it. Things you might say, or how we might meet, possibly even looking forward to it. Maybe not consciously, but you know you have. Us, at least me, I’d never considered the possibility of having another brother. So I’ve never had that opportunity to wonder about you. You were a kid when he told you. You must have ached to know us, especially back then.”
He was right about all that. I’d cried myself to sleep many nights, wishing I could be with the two big brothers I didn’t know, yet admired. Eventually, my admiration turned to anger. Anger that they had each other and I had no one. But I kept all of that to myself. Maybe someday I’d say it all out loud.
“You sort of had an advantage over us. Coming here, introducing yourself, meeting us without letting on who you were. You had an opportunity to assess us before telling us who you were.”
“It wasn’t that I didn’t want to tell you. I wasn’t sure how to.”
“Doesn’t matter. I would have done the same thing.” He downed the rest of his beer. “The more I think about it, though, I guess you’re at the disadvantage now.”
“How so?”
“Well, now, you’re waiting on our approval of you.”
One thing he didn’t know. I’d been waiting for that my entire life. But I nodded.
“Go snag your guitar and let’s go down and play some tunes.”
Brothers or not, playing music was what I did to calm my nerves, and this entire day called for some serious jamming. I stood and opened the door slowly, careful not to wake Mel. I wanted to talk to her so badly. I peeked at her, resting peacefully, her chest moving up and down in precise increments, each breath giving life tomychild.
I grabbed my guitar and quietly left her sleeping.
Brodie was halfway down the steps when I came out. We strolled in to the living room. Jackson sat in the chair, strumming away, and Lena sat at the piano. They were playing an old Bob Dylan song,Forever Young. Jackson glanced up and smiled as he sang harmony with the ladies. Gabrielle, who’d been sitting with Lena at the piano, stood and walked over to Brodie. He kissed her before reaching for his bass guitar. I took a seat on the sofa where I’d been before and took my guitar out of its case. I fell in without missing a beat. It was as if we’d been playing music together our whole lives.
When we finished that song, Jackson strummed a few chords of the next song without saying what it was, but I recognized it right away and kept up with him. He motioned for me to take the lead and I sang the words to Eric Clapton’sWonderful Tonight. As I started the second verse, Mel opened the door and walked in. Our eyes met and we stayed focused on each other. I swear it had to have been fate for her to enter right at the moment I was singing her favorite song, but this time, I sang it right to her, because she was beautiful.
She stood, listening to me sing.
