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I cringe as what she just said sinks in. “There’s a video?”
“There’s always a video,” Presley mutters, leaning his shoulder into mine.
Rebecca lifts her hand to me. I take it gently.
“Thank you, Scandal.”
Now I really hate that stupid name.
“I wish I could show my thanks in other ways, but all I have are words these days.”
“Even those aren’t necessary.”
“Regardless, I mean them. From the bottom of my soul.” Rebecca lifts her hand to me. I take it gently. “It’s the most frustrating thing, being here while your kids are on the outside, being unable to properly guide them in the world. Loa graced them with an angel last night. I’ll forever be in your debt.”
“So will I,” Presley breathes and we smile at each other.
“You must really care about my son to have done something so insane.”
Both Presley and I laugh nervously at that, sharing a look that projects that particular anxiety. “He’s alright I guess.”
She grins at us with hazy eyes and cracked lips. “I hope you’ve both made a lifelong friend out of such a tragedy.”
I nod and utter, “I’m sorry about your house.”
“When you’re as sick as I am, you no longer care about belongings, just your loved ones. My only sadness is that they have no home, but we will figure it out.”
“I’ll do what I can to help.”
She smiles at me again and then her son. “She’s a sweet one.”
Paisley, with her bandaged hands, snuggles into her mom’s side. “She’s a fairy.”
“A very brave fairy.”
Presley kisses her forehead and then his mom’s and nods for me to follow.
We exit the room and I let the tears I was holding flow freely from my stinging eyes. It’s so hard to be strong when you’re faced with something so tragic. I quickly wipe them away, not wanting him to see.
We head down the hall and he yanks open a door to a bathroom. Then he drags me inside and locks the door, uncaring if anybody sees. Though it wasn’t too busy out there, intensive care is a quiet environment and the nurses are likely in rooms working on their patients.
He grips the basin and stares at himself in the mirror. His light-colored eyes with a dark halo around the iris look so worn and full of fear. He breathes heavy, his chest rising and falling with great effort. I let him have his silence. I don’t know why I’m in here with him, perhaps it’s for comfort, or perhaps he feels now like he has to keep me around because of what I did.
I lean against the wall and wait for him to talk. I’m not pushing him; he deserves a minute and I’ve got time.
“I’m in a limbo here,” he whispers, sounding pained. “I hate not knowing what’s going to happen next.”
“I feel you. That’s my life in a nutshell.”
Our eyes meet in the mirror and understanding flickers between us.
His lip quivers and he cringes. I know that’s because I’m here and he’s showing emotions he probably wouldn’t otherwise.
“It’s okay,” I breathe, stepping closer to him. “You can talk to me. You can trust me.”
“I’ve been horrible to you.” He turns towards me and wipes his eyes on the back of his hand. “I just can’t get it out of my head how fucking awful I’ve been.”
“Most people are. I just have the kind of face that attracts it.”
He laughs slightly but that laugh becomes a sob which breaks my heart into tiny painful shards that fly around my body. His face goes to my neck and his moist lashes tickle the soft skin there. Hands dig into my shoulder and waist as he clings to me like I’m his last hope on earth.
Perhaps in this moment I am.
“What’s it like… not having a mom?” he asks so quietly I hardly hear it.
“What’s it like having one?”
His hold gets tighter and so does mine. “Amazing.”
“Then not having one is the worst.”
He pulls back, eyes teary and swollen, hair a mess atop his head.
I give him a soft smile as I work my hands through his blond tresses, trying to make it look like it normally does. “You’re going to be okay. You’re so strong. You have to be strong. Your sister is always going to need you.”
“I can’t do shit for her. What do I have?”
“Don’t say that. Not yet, you don’t know what’s going to happen with insurance and your dad.”
“I need to know. I don’t like not knowing.”
I keep rubbing his scalp, trying to relax him and soothe him if only a little.
He whimpers softly through a staggered breath and then touches his lips to mine.
Carter’s face flashes through my mind so I pull back.
“Presley,” I whisper, my throat still sore and scratchy.
“Please,” he begs, kissing my jaw as he walks my body backwards to the wall I was leaning against moments ago. “Please.”
