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My breath catches in my throat.
He just said that.
“Now I know you’re pulling my dick,” I reply, taking his words for what they were, banter and nothing else. I imagined the heated look in his eyes and the earnestness in his tone.
I go back to my phone.
Pax: Is he there?
“Lie. Tell him I’m not.”
I bite my lip then let it ping free. “I can’t stand liars. I don’t want to become one.”
“If it’ll keep the peace,” he murmurs, leaning in even closer.
I raise my brows. “Is that how you keep the peace with your wife? By lying?”
He shakes his head. “No. I never have anything interesting to lie about.”
“I don’t want to be a liar.”
“I don’t want to be the one to tell you this, but if you’re having to resort to even the idea of lying to escape the hell you’ll face at home, your relationship is becoming toxic.”
Ugh. He’s right and I hate that. “I love him, Ezra.”
Something flashes in his eyes. Pain? Is he sad that I’m so sad?
“Why does it have to be this way?”
“Relationships are supposed to make life better, not worse. Your happiness is so important. Don’t let him jeopardize that.”
I nod. “You’re right. I know you are. I’ve been thinking about it for a while. Things just aren’t the same between us anymore.”
“Then you know what to do.”
“I do,” I murmur and smile sadly with glistening eyes. “I could really use a hug right now.”
“That would definitely get some tongues wagging,” he whispers, his tone humorous to lighten the mood.
“Exactly, so don’t touch me.”
“I would if I could.” His voice is a low murmur and I can’t decide if he means that he would touch me if he could or if he would hug me if he could.
Le sigh.
What a confusing web my mind has woven.
Pax: ARE YOU WITH HIM?
“That’s not okay,” Mr. C says as we both stare at my phone. “It’s not normal.”
“I’ll deal with it.”
Rose: Yes, I am.
We look at each other, communicating without words.
He’s right. I need to handle Pax before things get real.
Just not right now.
I’ll give him just a bit more time to calm down.
Chapter Eighteen
He gives it to me straight.
I am so groggy and so dopey right now. My tongue feels like a foot and my feet feel like sand.
Getting laser eye surgery was fucking terrifying, they had to give me a sedative. I don’t know how much but I am spaaaaced.
A rare occurrence for them but I wouldn’t stop twitching. Now I’m being guided home with sunglasses over my eyes, unable to see a thing beyond a blurry haze of sepia things.
My eyes hurt.
Laurie is my carer and friend as always, though her tics mean she keeps accidentally pushing me away from her and then pulling me back. I giggle because it’s funny but also, I just giggle because it’s funny.
“Step down,” she says, and I do so.
This is awkward. I don’t like it but I can’t wait to see without the need for glasses.
I’ve been told before to get the surgery before my eyes got too bad, but I always loved my glasses. I loved having them as a sort of shield to hide behind. It’s weird, I know. I’m weird.
“Okay, we’re going to get in the car now,” Laurie tells me and I hear somebody approach us.
“There we go,” a kind lady soothes, and puts her hand on my head as I duck into the vehicle. “I know you told me not to bother but——”
“She showed up anyway and said either she can drive, or we can get a cab. I chose the nice lady who drives. She smells like strawberries.”
“Right?” I agree, giggling drunkenly. She really does smell like strawberries.
“They had to sedate her to stop her from twitching so she’s a bit out of it,” Laurie explains as I try to hug the nice lady.
“You really do smell like strawberries and I really am glad you’re here.” I hiccup. “Who are you?”
“It’s Izabella, sweet girl,” she says, closing the door.
“Yay, I really like Izabella.”
Laurie giggles from somewhere ahead.
“They approached me while you were under, Rose, so cute of them, right?” Laurie continues but I don’t know what she’s talking about.
I slump on the back seat of the car and the back of my head hits warm thighs.
“Hello, stranger,” I say, blinking to uncloud my vision but it doesn’t work. My eyes feel so dry and burnie. “Whose head is my lap in?”
“Mine.”
“That’s funny, you sound just like my boss.”
Laurie and Izabella both start to laugh as though I’m hysterical. I’m perfectly normal, thank you very much.
“I do, do I?”
“It’s weird, stop talking.”
They laugh again. “Maybe I don’t want to.”
I close my eyes and turn towards him. “You smell like him too.”
“I wonder why that is,” Laurie calls, laughing even harder now.
“Laurie,” I reach towards her with my hand and put it on her face when she comes closer. “Shhhhh.”
