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I nod, gripping the phone and sniffling unattractively. “I have to go.”
“Keep the phone on. Don’t hang up.”
“What, why?”
“We might be able to trace it. How long can you give us?”
I press a few buttons on the screen and silence it. “About half an hour, until the battery dies.”
“I’ll disconnect before then if I can.” He blows out a breath. “I promise, Rain, I will find you.”
I race to put the phone back in its hiding place, trembling and sweating with fear, and for a moment I feel guilty and my gut twists with it. I don’t like it but I can’t stop the tears that fall. They cascade down my cheeks in waves and it just doesn’t feel right sitting in another man’s bed and crying anymore so I take my pillow back to the corner and just let it all out.
I sob and sob for all of the hurt and the fear and the pain I’ve felt.
I cry until the pillow against my face is soaking wet and I feel so exhausted I can’t move. But that crying becomes anger when I feel him approach and he tries to hold me by pulling me into his chest and telling me it’s all going to be okay.
How dare he?
Who is he to console me when he is the reason for all of this?
I lose my absolute shit. A rage fires through me and I let it loose. Shoving him away, I slap at his hands until I’m standing with my arms wrapped around myself and more than a metre between us.
“Don’t touch me.”
He looks at me but says nothing because we both know at this point there is nothing he can say.
“Can I move back to my cell?” I ask, wiping my eyes.
“No.”
When he steps into my personal space, I shove him again, my hands firm against the hard muscles of his chest. “Say yes.”
“No.”
“Please, Captain. I can’t do this anymore. I can’t be around you anymore.”
His green eyes scan my face and his brows pull together with a look of sorrow. “You’re not staying anywhere but in here.”
“You are the lowest. You are awful.”
“I know.”
“That was… I have no words… or maybe I have too many. You just… Fuck. Captain. You ruined everything.”
His own eyes water as his remorse glows through them. “I know, Rain, I know. I fucking know.”
My rage finally spills from my lips, my anger, my sorrow, all of it. I can’t control it, I don’t want to. I want him to know how he’s made me feel, I want it to keep him up at night and torment him. Confusion, confliction and guilt need to turn his brain to tatters. He has to feel everything I am.
“How could you?” I whisper, hitting his chest with my hands. “How could you humiliate me like that? How could you hurt me like that?”
“Rain.” He says my name like a confession, stepping back every time I shove him. Accepting the blows.
“Didn’t I mean anything to you that you could just toss me away so easily?” I don’t let him reply, I shove him again and again. “I fucking hate you, you’ve ruined my entire life!”
“I know,” he croaks and his lip vanishes behind his perfect teeth.
“Then why? Why would you fucking do that to me?”
“Because you don’t feel the same way as me and I wanted to hurt you the way you hurt me every single fucking day!” he hisses, gripping my arms with strong hands, stopping me from shoving him anymore. “I want you to feel the same! I’ve done everything… EVERYTHING!”
I should feel intimidated by his anger but it only fuels mine. “You fucking PSYCHO! YOU KIDNAPPED ME!”
“I know that, Rain, but that didn’t stop me from falling in love with you!” His words echo off the walls they’re so loud. “And now I don’t know how to keep you.”
“You’ll never keep me,” I spit, shaking my arms free and stepping away. “I’ll never love you. Not now.”
“Because of that cowardly fuck, Neal?”
“It’s Niall and we both know you’ve got nothing on him. The only coward here is you. Niall’s coming for me and when he does and when he kills you, I’ll dance around your dead fucking body.”
He turns and puts his fist straight into the mirror, cracking it into the shape of a cobweb. His hand looks otherwise fine but that doesn’t shock me as his knuckles are rough and hard from manual labour like the pads of his fingers. With a loud roar he kicks over the chair in the corner and moves to the drawers where he knows my clothing is now kept.
“If you want him, go and fucking get him!” he bellows, grabbing my clothes and ripping them one by one. “Take a fucking rowboat and see how you fare.”
“Real mature, breaking shit and ripping clothes. Just like last night, fucking another woman to hurt me. Like you haven’t done enough to damage me already, you raging psychopath.”
