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She knew she had made a mistake and tried to correct it.
‘Perhaps I should have said a pure search for knowledge, for its own sake, rather than for its practical application. That is not something to be despised.’
He was momentarily confused by her grasp of the issue he had thought beyond her. He was forced to think again.
‘Why do you care, Mrs Monk? Do you think I am unaware that you keep reminding me of the value of these children because you have developed a sentimental attachment to them?’
‘Now you are wrong again!’ she said, her anger surging back. ‘You imply something maudlin and basically selfish. That is unworthy of either of us. I care for them because they are sweet and brave people, and should grow up to have as much of a chance at life as fate will give them. That is not sentimental, it is basically decent, that’s all! If you don’t care about individuals then you are lying when you say you aren’t after glory. Without a purpose beyond yourself, then you are after glory, praise, reward. Don’t deceive yourself.’
He winced as sharply as if she had struck him.
‘How quick you are to judge,’ he accused her. ‘I want the cure for white blood disease so no one ever dies of it again: man or child.’ His voice was intense, shaking as if it were beyond him to control it. ‘I watched my own brother die of it, and he was barely older than Charlie. He was the most beautiful child I ever knew: brighter, gentler, more visionary than I am.’ His mouth twisted into a grimace of anger. ‘Magnus is all he can be, but he will never make up for Edward.’ He drew in a deep, shaky breath. ‘Neither will I. But perhaps I will save someone in the future who will achieve greatness, beauty of the mind and the soul.’
‘Maybe Charlie,’ Hester said softly, this time without criticism. ‘One cannot know. Or the children he will have one day.’
He looked at her. For a moment there was no pretence at indifference in him at all, only memory and grief.
‘Damn you!’ he said quietly. ‘I want you to nurse these children and keep them alive so I can use their blood until I can save Radnor, and find out how I am doing it! What is it about them? Why does their blood always work, and other people’s does sometimes, and it kills other times?’
‘Would you have used Edward, if some other person had caused you to work at this?’ She knew she was taking a risk, but she would never have a better chance than this.
‘I can’t use Edward,’ he said savagely.
‘Magnus?’ She would not let it go.
‘I need him alive! He’s a doctor, a good one. I need his skills. That should be within your grasp to understand.’ A shadow passed over his face. ‘Anyway, we tried transfusing Magnus’s blood. It didn’t work. Nor does mine. Tried it twice with mine. All the patients died.’ He turned away from her. ‘Now will you please stop badgering me with your questions and attend to your work? We may need more blood tomorrow.’
r /> ‘You can’t!’ she said, all her fear returning. ‘You’ll kill them! Then Radnor will certainly die. You will have failed. You can’t keep on taking blood so often. Apart from anything else, their blood will be depleted of all goodness. For heaven’s sake, can’t you see that?’
He stood motionless with his back to her.
‘Why on earth are you here doing this anyway?’ she demanded. ‘You may be brilliant, but you’re a chemist! Magnus is the doctor – why isn’t he here?’
‘I know enough medicine to manage,’ Rand replied, still facing away from her. ‘And you have the experience. You’ll hold your nerve.’
‘That is not an answer,’ she said. She kept as calm as she could, but felt a different kind of panic welling up inside her. ‘Does Magnus even know what you’re doing?’
Now he wheeled round, his eyes glittering. ‘Of course he knows what I’m doing! He has the doctor’s qualification, but I know almost as much medicine as he does. But if we fail, he has the more to lose.’
She was stunned. Was Hamilton Rand really taking the responsibility to save his brother, if it all went disastrously wrong?
He saw her face and understood her thoughts as if she had spoken them aloud. He raised his eyebrows high. ‘You don’t think I would do that? You know nothing! You look at us, see little, a very little, and jump to conclusions. Who do you think brought Magnus up, helped him study, encouraged him, paid for his medical schooling?’
She swallowed. Her mouth was dry. ‘Your father . . .’ As soon as she said it she knew she was wrong. ‘You?’
‘I gave up medical school when my father died. I went to work to earn money to keep the family. Then Mother died as well. It was after Edward . . .’ he breathed in and out to steady himself, ‘. . . after Edward died. There were only Magnus and me left. I was determined one of us would make it. Magnus had the chance. He’s going to be a success now.’
Hester could think of nothing to say. Her feelings were torn in so many different directions it was like a physical pain inside her. She could barely imagine the loss, Hamilton’s willing sacrifice, the burden of gratitude weighing on Magnus. And every time Hamilton said ‘Edward’, she could see Charlie’s face, pale, losing his grip on life as his blood was drained away.
‘Nothing to say, Mrs Monk?’ Rand asked her bitterly. ‘No judgements?’
She shook her head. ‘I think it’s time to finish this, and for me to go and make dinner. Adrienne is probably looking after her father. And frankly, I’d rather scrape a used saucepan than feed him.’
Rand smiled with a downward twist of his lips. ‘You don’t have to like him, Mrs Monk. Just keep him alive.’
‘I know, Mr Rand,’ she answered him, this time meeting his eyes. ‘It is entirely in my own interest to do so. I won’t forget that, I assure you.’
In the early evening, Hester went back up the stairs to see Radnor again. With the new transfusion of blood he had seemed to rally considerably and Adrienne had felt well able to care for him without assistance for a couple of hours.
