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‘Your tea’s getting cold,’ he said. Then he thought that was silly. He had only just poured it.
She turned away from the window and sat down opposite him. He knew from her face that she was just being polite, but she started to eat the cake, just in small pieces, one at a time. She looked tired and, if such a thing were possible, afraid.
He must say something. That was what Monk had left him here for, not just to sit and watch. It was very strange. It was always she who had made him talk when he was scared and miserable, remembering bad things and frightened they would happen again. It had been as if he even just closed his eyes, maybe he would open them and find he was back there, and the reality was in fact the dream.
‘I still dream about Jericho Phillips,’ he said quietly.
She looked up at him, letting the cake fall. ‘I know. I can’t promise it will go away. I wish I could. But it will get less.’
‘It’s less now,’ he answered. ‘But you said it was all right to talk about it sometimes, and I wasn’t a coward because it still scared me.’
‘It is all right,’ she said quickly. ‘Do you want to talk about it?’
‘No. But is it true, what you said, that it’s not silly to talk about it sometimes, and not being a baby if it still feels real, and bad?’
‘Of course it’s not silly. Why would you ask that? Have the dreams got worse?’ Now she looked so worried he was afraid he had gone too far.
‘No, they haven’t,’ he said quickly. ‘Hardly ever happens any more. But I know what it’s like. I was thinking about them little kids. Are they going to have dreams too, d’yer reckon? Or did you stop that ’cos yer were there so they weren’t never alone?’
Hester smiled a little hazily. ‘I’d like to think so. At least most of the time. They’ll be back with their mother and father soon. When they’re stronger.’
‘But was their mother really pleased to see them?’ he pressed.
‘Oh, yes.’ Now her voice was definitely husky, as if she were fighting back intense emotion. ‘Yes, she was. It was as if someone had turned on all the lights inside her.’
Scuff was quiet for a moment, tasting the happiness of it. Then he took a breath. ‘You could talk about it, too. I can listen. You taught me how to do that. I wouldn’t think you were silly. Sometimes it’s silly not to be scared.’
She smiled properly this time, and the tears came to her eyes again. ‘Thank you,’ she said huskily.
‘So tell me about it.’ He kept his voice firm. ‘I’m not going to leave you alone, not till Monk comes back. I’m going to sleep in the armchair in your room, so if you wake up in the night I’ll be there.’
‘You don’t have to do that!’ she protested.
‘Yeah, I do. I remember how scared I was, and when I woke up in the night you were always there, until I was all right again.’ He stared at her, meeting her eyes, and she did not look away. He saw that she had been badly hurt, because of the children she couldn’t save, and because she thought she would die and not see Monk again, or him, or anyone she loved. He knew that was what he saw because it was what he would have felt.
‘It’ll get better,’ he promised. ‘Even if they don’t hang Mr Rand, something’ll happen to stop him, or we’ll make it happen.’ He had no idea if that was true, but he reckoned that was what she needed to believe. ‘I promise,’ he added.
She reached across and kissed him very gently on the cheek. ‘Thank you,’ she whispered. ‘I would like it if you slept in the chair. That way I don’t think the bad dreams will dare to come.’
He felt a rush of pleasure like a warmth inside him. This must be what belonging was, not here because people were sorry for you, but because you were worth something too.
That night Hester still dreamed, and it was of r
eunion, of families together. It was not Charlie, Maggie and Mike seeing their mother again and knowing they could go home, it was of Adrienne and the restored and vigorous Bryson Radnor.
Had Adrienne known he would make that dramatic entrance in the trial? That was what had saved her, and incidentally also Hamilton Rand. Had she known he would do that? The terror in her face suggested not. Was that so no one would suspect, or had Radnor not even thought of it until the moment when he acted?
She would rather have assumed that he had, but glimpses kept coming back to her of Adrienne and Radnor together both in the hospital, and later in the cottage. He was impatient with her, condescending, sometimes even dismissive. Had that been his illness speaking, his fear? Or his nature?
Did Adrienne understand him, and it did not matter?
Or did she depend on him too deeply even to fight back?
Hester slipped deeper into dreamless sleep without an answer.
Monk and Hooper took a far smaller cart to Redditch this time, and a horse that could keep up a pretty good pace. They called in very briefly at the local police station, to let them know they would be at the cottage, looking for further evidence to do with the case. It was not only a courtesy, but a necessary precaution in the circumstances. Another necessary precaution was to take a pistol each, just in case the gardener with the shotgun, and now with a very real cause for vengeance, might still be on the property, or in the woods nearby.
‘If he decides to shoot at me, he could say he thought I was a rabbit,’ Hooper said drily.
