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Nothing I say or do gets through to him.
I need to find a way to bring the old Nathan back. I have to do something.
With this thought in mind I drop Dillan off with Jeanine for a while and head to the supermarket as was her suggestion. She thinks I should try and remind him of the good times we’ve shared, so that’s what I’m going to do. Nathan got rid of all of my eggs and I’m going to need some if I want to get on his good side with food. This is the only weapon in my arsenal, baked goods. I’m keeping my fingers crossed but I’m also not holding out hope.
If only he’d tell me. If he’d just tell me then we could move past this. What’s so bad that he has to make out like he hates me?
I don’t want him to know what I’m doing so I spend the morning baking cake after cake and cookies after cookies and treat after treat, using Jeanine’s kitchen. By the time I’m done it’s almost two.
Jeanine insists I leave Dillan with her whilst I do this. I thank her profusely and after loading the baked goods into my car, I set off for home. The entire way I beg the skies for strength and help.
Now I just need to figure out what to say.
I gather as many cakes and things as possible and step into the house, relieved that the door isn’t locked.
“Nathan?” I shout as I place the last of the boxes on the kitchen side.
My phone alerts me to a text, I open it.
Nathan: I’m in the nursery.
Well, that’s an improvement already. Maybe he can smell my surprise treats and has decided to suddenly be civil.
The only thing I take up with me is the small bag of homemade donuts that taste way better than anything you’ll find at a theme park. In my mind this was the night that Nathan and I connected, this was the night we became friends and now I just have to remind him of that.
“Okay,” I start shouting as I head up stairs. “So I went slightly overboard on the baking but I thought we could…”
Nathan’s eyes meet mine, they wince at whatever he sees in them.
It’s heartbreak he sees.
My phone beeps as I stare at the empty room. No nursery furniture in sight.
He’s throwing me out.
Mum: Would you care to explain why a van full of yours and Dillan’s things has just arrived on my doorstep? Are you coming home?
It would appear so. “I told you I wanted you to leave,” he says but there’s no emotion to his tone. His hands tremble by his sides.
I don’t know what to say. I’m dazed, totally and completely dazed. I think I just lost my mind. “What about Dillan?” This is the only question I can manage to ask. I don’t want an answer to any of the others.
He shrugs noncommittally, “I’ll see him when I can. If you allow it.”
I nod quickly and a little frantically, my body tense as it struggles to keep my emotions bottled. I won’t give him the satisfaction. “Sure. You’re his uncle.”
“I appreciate that,” he chews on his cheek. “I warned you…”
My hand shoots up, silencing him immediately. “I know. I should have listened. I didn’t think you were serious. That’s my mistake.”
His eyes watch me warily for a moment, “Are you okay?”
A tingle erupts in my chest, forcing a lump up my throat. I swallow it down, “Fine. Are you sure they packed everything of ours?”
He looks at me in the eye, his face now one of concern, “Are you sure you’re okay?”
Am I? I feel okay. Shocked and maybe a little sad but I’m otherwise okay. “Yeah.”
“I’m sor…”
My hand shoots up again, “You don’t owe me an explanation Nathan.”
“I…”
“No,” I throw the bag of donuts at him, he catches them with ease. Peeling the bag open I watch for his reaction. His eyes sparkle with the memory of that night.
“One of the best nights of my life,” he says quietly and looks at me, his gaze unsure. “Thank you for these.”
I ignore him and his strange look. “I have a bag of my things in your room, did you remember those?”
He cringes, “No. Sorry, I forgot about the time you stayed upstairs with me.” Yeah right. More like he wanted an excuse for me to come back. What game is he playing? Do I even care?
How do I even feel?
“I’ll just grab them now,” my voice sounds weird. Why does it sound so… hollow?
He follows me up the stairs and into his room. Unfortunately he doesn’t remain silent. “I expected you to be angry.” Yeah, me too. “I don’t like this.”
“You don’t like what?” I mutter and turn on the light. My bag is under the desk in the corner, I pull it out by the handle and sling it onto my back.
