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Or I knew Nathan would deal with it, so my mind wouldn’t switch on. “Sorry.”
He shrugs. “He was easy to manage.”
“Good.” I chew on my lip for a moment, staring at a bare chested Nathan, kneeling on the ground next to Dillan’s baby bath, who is kicking away happily in the warm suds.
“You need a bath.” Nathan says, patting the shower door. At first I think he’s telling me I’m unclean, but then I realise he’s talking about our lack of a bath tub. “Hold out the towel.”
I do as he says and wait as he carefully picks Dillan up and hands him to me. We wrap him together and I clutch him to my chest as Nathan dries his hands and pulls on his gloves.
“If you go and get ready, we can be at Jeanine’s by one.” Nathan lifts Dillan out of my arms and nuzzles his chubby cheek with his nose. “Quickly, you’ll need to feed him before we go. I gave him some more gripe water with his morning bottle, but you’re out of expressed milk.”
“Jeanine’s?” He follows me into the bedroom.
“Yes, she wants to see Dillan and I want to take you somewhere.”
“Where?” I enquire, rummaging through my drawers to find the perfect outfit. “Outdoor or indoor?”
“Outdoors, it’s not too cold out today.” He nods when I hold up a long, loose, baby blue dress. “Wear a cardigan on top.”
I do as I’m told, grabbing a black woollen one which hangs loosely over the shoulders.
Nathan takes Dillan’s nappy bag and leaves the room, but not before telling me I only have five minutes to get ready.
It’s a good thing I braided my hair yesterday or it’d be a frightful mess right now.
Before long we’re in the car and on the road. I’m grateful my mum wasn’t up whilst we were getting ready. It means I got to miss out on the interrogation.
“Do I still get free reign over the radio?”
Nathan waves his hand towards it.
Yay.
“I’m thirsty.” I announce after a few more minutes of silence.
“Me too, but we don’t have time to stop.” He rubs his chin. It’s the first time I’ve seen him with any stubble. It’s only a light shadow, but I have to admit it makes him look very handsome.
“We’ll just run in, grab a drink and run out again.” I suggest.
He shakes his head. “No food or drink in the car.”
“Are you serious? You’ve let me before.”
He rolls his eyes. “That was one time; you were pregnant and grieving.”
“Well now I’m breast feeding and wondering whether or not you want this journey to be relaxing or not,” I threaten, smiling smugly.
He completely ignores me, his eyes staring at the road ahead.
“Nathan?”
“Yes?”
“Can I ask you something?”
He shifts in his seat, his tongue swiping at his lower lip. “What do you want to know?”
How do I say this? “Was… umm… was Caleb…”
His hands tense on the steering wheel; any tighter and I’d be worried about the strength of the wheel. “No.”
This brings me relief. “I don’t understand why it was just you that…”
“Caleb rarely went to our grandfather’s. Maybe he didn’t have the opportunity.”
I don’t believe him. “Don’t get me wrong. I’m glad that he wasn’t… I wish you hadn’t had to… but…”
“Spit it out,” he snaps, clearly getting annoyed with my lack of proper English at present. It’s a difficult thing to talk about. I can’t just say it outright. Can I?
“It makes no sense that he’d only target you.”
He doesn’t respond. His face holds that usual blank façade that I hate so much.
If he doesn’t want to talk about it, I guess I can’t blame him. There are other things we should discuss. I’ll mention those instead.
“Are you going to tell me why you hit him now?”
“No.”
“But…”
“It’ll put me in a bad mood and spoil our day. Let it go.” He’s not already in a bad mood?
Huff. “Fine.”
He lets out a long breath, his eyes narrowed in irritation. “Don’t start being mardy. I don’t want to talk about it.”
“I don’t see why, you promised no more secrets,” I point out, glaring at his profile.
“And I said I wouldn’t keep secrets from you, but I didn’t say when I’d divulge said secrets. I will tell you… eventually.”
I laugh in disbelief. “If we want to move forward then we should talk about these things.”
“I agree.” Finally! “But right now, at this point in our relationship – which, may I remind you, has only just begun – it isn’t time to get into such things. They’ll only upset you and I don’t want that. Especially not today.”
Crossing my arms over my chest, I continue to argue. “Or they’ll upset me more when our relationship is further along because I’ll wonder why you kept things from me for such a long time.”
“Or you’ll never talk to me again.”
