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I giggle and push the pram into the cupboard by the door.
When I enter the room, Nathan is lying on his back on the ground, raising Dillan above his head before bringing him down to his face and pretending to bite his neck.
Looking at him now, I can’t help but wonder how he could think those things about himself.
This is stupid; this is ridiculous. Is this why he shuts himself off from the world? He truly believes if he allows himself to enjoy sex, eventually he’ll get a taste for darker things? That’s madness.
What the fuck did you do to him you sick bastard? I mentally scream at his grandfather as I make my way into the kitchen, needing privacy for my thoughts.
I don’t know what to do! Genuinely I don’t. I’m completely stuck.
That poor boy. I want to kill the old bastard and string his innards on Mr and Mrs Weston’s Christmas tree! How could they let this happen to him?
I’m so angry I could kick a frog.
No… I’m so angry I could wrap my hands around his father’s neck and squeeze until he took his last breath. And I’m not violent, so these new feelings are ten times worse than they would be on a more aggressive person. I want to act. I want to scream and shout.
After downing a glass of water in an attempt to soothe my nerves, I head to the fridge and start pulling things out. Nathan enters the room with Dillan in his arms as I’m chopping up vegetables to make a salad.
“What are you doing?” He asks, pulling angry and then happy faces at the frowning baby, who can’t seem to focus on what it is Nathan’s doing.
“Making you lunch.” I respond, throwing the veg into a bowl.
“You don’t have to,” he says, placing a calming hand on my shoulder.
“I know.” I wipe the cutting board down and place the chicken breast on the shiny surface. “But I want to, plus this chicken needs eating today or it’ll go off.”
“Isn’t Mummy brilliant?” He asks Dillan, who continues frowning. Nathan then leans forward and kisses the curve of my neck, brushing my hair away with his fingers at the same time. “I’ll take him into the living room, give you some space.”
“Okay,” I whisper, not allowing my emotions to get the better of me.
They leave the room, but not before kissing me again. This makes me smile as I work.
When we sit down to lunch, Nathan stares at me for a while. I pick at my food, not really hungry from this morning’s hearty breakfast. “Is everything okay?”
I admit. “Not really, no.”
“I never did apologise for what happened with Eric.” He wipes his mouth on a napkin and cocks his head whilst looking at me. “I shouldn’t have done that. Would you like me to speak with him?”
“No.” Shaking my head, I give him a weak smile. “It’s done with. There’s no going back now. You talking to him will only make it worse.”
He nods and goes back to eating. “I am sorry. I got jealous. I thought… I guess I was worried that if you spent any more time with him you’d choose him.”
“Forget it; it’s fine. I probably would have reacted the same way. It’s my fault for stringing him along.”
His grin lights up his face, making him look handsome and alluring, “You would have reacted the same way?”
“I have a jealous streak. It’s actually quite severe.” I shamefully admit. “Do you want to do something fun? I feel like we should go out or something.”
He blinks, seemingly shocked by my question. “Cinema?”
“Dillan.” I arch a brow.
“Right. No babies allowed.” His eyes narrow in thought. “We could go to the arcades?”
I snort. “You hate the arcades, the noise, the fact that you have to hold money in your hand…”
“I used to love the racing games. We could do that?”
“Okay.” I smile broadly. “To the pier?”
He nods. “I’ll clean up; you change Dillan and get ready.”
“Are you sure?”
“Absolutely.” He taps his lips when I stand, clearly eager to get ready and get going. Feigning annoyance, I lean over and swiftly press a kiss to his cheek, laughing when he holds my head and kisses my mouth deeply. When I pull back I’m out of breath and tingling all over. It’s not until he gives me a small nudge in the direction of the door that I remember I’m supposed to be getting ready.
I skip the entire time I’m getting ready. I skip with Dillan to the door and then I skip down the driveway when Nathan starts locking up.
He laughs at my enthusiasm, pushing the pram for me so I can skip beside him all the way to the seafront. He immediately stops laughing when I suggest that I get a navel piercing. At this point he releases the pram, grabs the top of my arm and pulls me away from the shiny belly bars.
