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“Great, Thai it is, then,” I said, wondering just how much I was going to learn about Margie during this lunch.
The weird thing was that it was kind of like a date. There was a date-like vibe to the whole thing, and I couldn’t put my finger on why, exactly. Maybe Margie really was gay. At the very least, I should do some probing to try and figure it out. I didn’t want to pass up the opportunity, because she was just too good-looking.
We walked into the restaurant and got a table. It wasn’t one of the really fancy Thai places, with art on the walls and carved wood tables, though there was a brass sculpture of Buddha near the entrance. This place was primarily targeted toward students, and I saw tons of backpacks everywhere, though no one I knew.
After taking our order, the waitress—another student—disappeared and left us alone to have a conversation.
“So, Margie,” I started. “What’s your deal? What do you do here at Beasley?”
This was bringing back vague memories of freshman year, when I’d had to meet dozens of new people in the space of a month. I didn’t like leading with the question “what’s your major” because it seemed too reductive, and it didn’t normally lead to interesting discussions. People usually ended up mentioning it anyway.
“So… I transferred here from Amherst,” she started, “and this is my first year here.”
That made a lot of sense. It explained why she seemed a little isolated, even though she clearly wasn’t a freshman.
“And how are you liking it?” I asked. “Do you think you made the right choice in transferring?”
Every transfer student I’d met had thought they’d made the right decision, but Margie looked pained when I asked, and I immediately felt a little guilty. I had no idea what kind of problems she was facing, but she seemed like a potentially very unhappy person.
“I’m not sure,” said Margie. She’d clearly been deciding whether or not to be honest, and I was suddenly glad she’d decided to be honest with me. She could have lied and said it was fine.
“Well, if you want to talk about it, I’m all ears,” I said.
&nb
sp; Margie shrugged. “I mean, it’s not a big deal. Whatever. I thought Amherst was too much of a big party school and that I didn’t fit in well there. But it turns out I don’t fit in well here, either.”
“Well… what kind of person are you? What kind of person do you want to be?” I asked.
I’d thought about that question a lot in high school. I’d imagined myself as a cool college kid who hung out with the artsy crowd, and somehow, I’d made it happen. I hadn’t been cool in high school, but I’d achieved it now. My teenage self would have been pleased.
“I don’t know,” Margie admitted. “I just… I just want to have friends to drink and play games with, a boyfriend, maybe… a major I love, instead of biology, which I don’t know if I even like anymore.”
A boyfriend? Well, that brought all my dreams crashing down. But I’d had such a strong suspicion she was into girls. There was just something about her.
“A boyfriend, huh?” I said, deciding to take a risk. “As cute as you are, I’m surprised no one’s snapped you up already.”
She immediately blushed, which made me smile.
“What? It’s true,” I added. “You’re a good-looking woman and you shouldn’t have any problem.”
“Thanks,” she said. “That’s uh, that’s good to know. I guess I just don’t feel socially confident.”
“You asked me to get lunch. Just find a cool guy and ask him the same thing.” I grinned, even though I was still staving off the disappointment I felt that she was straight.
Unless she was bi… But then I felt like she would’ve mentioned it. The dynamic between us would have been different if she did have some attraction to me, and in any case, now she knew I thought she was cute. If that information meant anything to her, she could use it if she wanted to. And I did so hope she’d want to.
“It’s intimidating,” she said, and she stared down at the table. “And… I don’t know. I feel like I wouldn’t even know what to do in a relationship.”
Well, that was definitely an odd thing to say. Why wouldn’t she know? Surely we’d all been raised on the same diet of Disney movies and rom coms.
“I mean, you could do stuff like, hold hands and kiss,” I said, gently trying to be lighthearted.
Margie looked up at me and laughed, and I was glad I’d temporarily managed to cheer her up. “I guess.”
I wanted to see her smile for some reason. Maybe because she was so cute when she did. “I’m sure you’ll figure it out,” I said. “Maybe you should join a club or something.”
“I’m in the EAC, but they’re very cliquey,” said Margie.
