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Lucas found a vacant spot farther down the block and parked his car. He left the engine running and shifted in his seat to look at me.
“Can we talk about this?” he asked.
“It’s late.”
“I know. You’ll be inside before sunrise, don’t worry.”
Now it was my turn to stare at him. He knew? My stunned appearance said more than words. He nodded. “Yeah, I know what you are.”
“Oh. When did I get so cavalier about telling people?”
“You didn’t have much of a choice at the time. Sort of a do-or-die situation. I’m starting to think there’s a lot of stuff you wouldn’t tell me given the choice.”
The heat vent was suddenly fascinating.
“How serious are we?” I asked him.
“Very.”
I flicked the vent closed, then back open. The hot air was now angled right in my face.
“And are you always upfront with me?”
He hesitated. “No.”
At least he was being honest. “Have we ever talked about having kids?”
“No,” he said again.
I nodded, still looking at the heat vent. “I can’t have kids.”
Lucas took hold of my hand, forcing me to stop playing with the vent and to look at him instead. He appeared tired and sad. “How do you know?”
“When I was nineteen, Gabriel and I… I got pregnant. That’s when he moved in. He was really excited. I wasn’t… I mean.” I sighed and met Lucas’s piercing gaze. “I didn’t know how it would work, with my blood the way it is.”
He bobbed his head and squeezed my hand. I didn’t want to continue. The memory still felt fresh thanks to whatever spell I was under, and it wasn’t something I liked to share.
“One night I woke up and I just knew. It hurt like hell, but there was no blood. My body…absorbed the baby.” My breath shuddered on the last word. “I told Gabriel I’d miscarried. I think he wanted to try again, but I managed to convince him the doctors were against it. I’ve been on the pill since to make sure it never happens again.”
Turning from Lucas, I looked out the window at the rows of silent, dark apartments lining the block. So many normal human lives going about their business, sleeping without the burdens of my world on their heads.
Lucas’s grip was painfully tight on my hand.
“Now you know,” I said. “I really am a freak.”
Instead of looking disgusted, he appeared to be thinking. There was a faint hint of disappointment wrinkling the corners of his eyes, but he didn’t say anything to confirm what he was feeling. He tugged me closer and wrapped me in a smothering hug.
“I don’t care.” His words rumbled against my cheek. Although I didn’t remember him, his scent and embrace felt familiar and comforting. Being held was nice. “I didn’t choose you because of your breeding potential. I chose you because you’re my mate. You’re meant to be with me. Anything else is secondary.” The words sounded forced, but I wanted to believe him.
“Now,” he said. “Let’s go let Desmond know you’re okay.”
I sat back, giving him a genuinely puzzled look. “Who’s Desmond?”
Chapter Twenty-Four
My lullaby while I attempted to sleep was the sound of Lucas and Desmond arguing in the living room as I buried myself under a comforter and pretended I couldn’t hear every word through the tissue-thin walls. My introduction—or reintroduction—to Desmond hadn’t magically restored my memories, but it had managed to convince me I was totally insane.
The first thing I’d noticed when I walked into my apartment was the biting flavor of lime in my mouth. First I’d thought it was from some god-awful air freshener, but when I commented on it, I was told it was part of my connection to Desmond.
