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“Belong where? Belong to you?”
He seemed hurt and a little dizzy from being stopped in the act. I wondered if full-blooded vampires had something like blue balls for their fangs if they didn’t get to feed when they were expecting to. Like some kind of pseudo-sexual gingivitis.
“I thought what you wanted was to not be an outcast. ”
“Maybe once. But I don’t want it like this. ”
“You mean you don’t want it with me. ”
“This has nothing to do with us. It has nothing to do with me and Desmond either. This is about putting my life back together and then ending someone else’s. ”
“We can kill Mercy for you. ”
“The council doesn’t give a shit about killing a rogue werewolf princess. ”
“She’s killed one of our wardens now. ”
I huffed, crossing my arms tightly over my chest. “Don’t pull that. I know exactly how much the council cares about dead wardens. I am the council. They’d only care if she was killed by one of our own without a warrant. ”
“She was killed in public. ”
“With no witnesses. You don’t get it, do you? The council doesn’t care about Mercy. And I can’t make them care about her without explaining why they should. I can’t tell the council to kill my mother, because then they’d know what I am. ”
“Then I’ll kill her. ”
I softened, dropping my arms back down by my sides. Leave it to a homicidal promise to turn me into mush. I didn’t go any closer to him, though, fearing he might try to bite me again. “I want it to be me. And I want it to be me as I was. ”
“Did the wolf try to talk you out of this? I’m betting he loves seeing you in the daylight. ”
“At this point, the wolf knows better than to bother. ”
“Someone ought to try knocking some sense into you every now and then. Otherwise you’ll think you’re always right. ”
“I am always right. ”
Holden snorted. “You’re something, that’s for sure. ”
“I need you, Holden. I can’t get through to Calliope without you, and I’m not taking Kellen anywhere until I know her feelings for the fairy are genuine. ”
“That’s noble of you. ”
“I’m not a monster. ”
“No…not yet, anyway. But I guess I’d better get my coat if we’re going to make you one. ”
Chapter Fifty-Two
When I’d been a freak, passing through the gate to Calliope’s realm had felt strange but not unpleasant. There was an otherness to it, but it was over quickly and had rarely made me uneasy. The only time I hadn’t enjoyed the process was when I took Desmond with me.
I wasn’t sure what to expect when passing through it as a human, whether it would hurt now, or if there would be other potential side effects.
I’d asked Desmond to stay out this time, because I couldn’t act as an anchor for him, and with Kellen and I being relatively fragile—since we were mere mortals after all—it was smarter and safer for us to travel alone with Holden and not risk a werewolf shift in the transport.
As it turned out, there wasn’t much for me to have concerned myself over. The biggest difference—aside from being aware of how cold the gate was—was the smell. It smelled like fruit, or flowers. Something sweet and fresh. I was enchanted enough by the smell that I wanted to stop moving so I could bask in it awhile longer.
With a chill, I realized that was probably the point.
The gateway itself was a passage from one world into the next. It made sense now that humans couldn’t enter it on their own, if there were natural elements meant to lead them from the path. I tightened my grip on both Holden’s and Kellen’s wrists so the vampire could guide us safely. I’d figured out what the smell was designed to do, but I wasn’t sure if Kellen would understand it to be bait.
