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“Fuck me.” Lucas crossed the room and settled in behind his desk, raking his hands through his hair.
Even now I couldn’t ignore how beautiful he was. I’d need to be blind not to recognize his appeal. I’d spent years letting his attractive qualities—and stellar bedroom skills—distract me from the major issues in our relationship. That was how damned pretty he was. Now his handsome face was twisted in an exhausted, pitiful grimace, and I felt bad. I felt empathy for what he was going through, and I couldn’t remember the last time I’d wanted to comfort him like I did now.
Honestly, I couldn’t recall a time we’d gone this long without fighting either.
“Lucas…” I slipped away from Desmond and crouched next to his chair, taking his hand in mine. His fingers, so long and nimble, wrapped around mine, and he stared at me in silence. “We’re going to find a way to make this okay. I promise.”
It wasn’t the kind of promise I had any control over keeping, but it felt like the right thing to say.
He smiled for the first time since we’d arrived. “If anyone could spit in the face of the apocalypse, Secret, it’s you.”
Chapter Fourteen
Desmond and I found ourselves alone for the first time since our engagement.
We’d settled into his old suite, with the curtains drawn tight against the oncoming day, and we collapsed beside each other on his bed. For the past several months I had slept with a gun under my pillow every night, thinking it could protect me from my demons.
But I had seen with my own eyes tonight there were demons out there I was unable to fend off, especially in my sleep. So for one day I decided maybe I could let my guard down and trust that I was protected.
Nothing was going to happen to me while we were at Lucas’s penthouse. The enemies we were facing might be strong, but they were still human, and against a pack of wolves they wouldn’t stand a chance.
I set the gun on the nightstand and rolled over, seeking out Desmond’s warm body and drawing myself towards him.
This, too, was strange. I’d been all about maintaining distance lately, afraid of even the slightest touch. Amazing how the end of the world as you know it will change your perspective on things.
“What are you…?” His words drifted off as I pushed my hands under his shirt, moving slow to enjoy the hot feel of his skin beneath my fingers. His breath hitched up. It had been a long time since I’d touched him.
I paused, wondering if this was the wrong thing to do. When he’d put his hand on me upstairs in Lucas’s room, something had come alive in me I hadn’t been sure I would ever feel again. Now we had a brief reprieve, the last we might have in a long while, and all I could think to do was get all over him. I needed it, like I hadn’t in ages. When was the last time I’d been with him? It was much, much too long.
If our world might end tomorrow, I wanted to go to bed with my fiancé once more before it did.
“Shhh,” I whispered, tugging at the hem of his shirt. “We don’t have a lot of time.” The sun would be up soon, and I would be dead to the world once it arrived.
“Are you sure about this?” Desmond,
always so cautious, always wanting to do the right thing.
“I’ve never been more sure.”
He finished removing his shirt, and I went to work on his belt, letting out a deep sigh of satisfaction as the leather slipped through his belt loops. He fumbled with my zipper, his fingers eager and clumsy. We were like teenagers stealing a moment in the backseat of a car.
My mouth found his, and our kiss reverberated through me like a bolt of white-hot lightning. My toes literally curled when his tongue brushed against mine and his teeth grazed my lip with a frenzied, demanding need. I pushed his pants down over his butt but couldn’t stop kissing him long enough to push them any farther. Giving up his mouth wasn’t an option.
He tasted of lime, so pure and bright I might as well have been sucking on the fruit itself, but mingled with something sweeter—my own taste in his mouth, like cotton candy.
I abandoned my efforts to disrobe him and drew him closer, pressing my body so close to his the warmth of his skin seemed to melt into me. Everything I had feared from his touch vanished. I didn’t flinch or pull away. I didn’t go to my dark place or imagine myself trapped and helpless.
As Desmond trailed his fingers over every inch of me, deftly ridding me of my pants but leaving my top in place so he could keep kissing me, I felt safe. I felt desired, protected and whole. And it was the first time since my ordeal with The Doctor I didn’t want to shrink away from baring myself to someone.
With every touch, kiss and barely masked moan, I felt alive. A part of me I’d been hiding away inside myself was being drawn to the surface, and I was complete. I wasn’t foolish enough to think one night of passion would fix me. There were scars that went so deep I didn’t know if they’d ever heal properly. But this was a step. It was a move in the right direction, and it gave me a profound feeling of hope that if we got through the next few days, he and I might be able to make a proper go of our life together.
I broke away from him long enough to say, “Now. Do it now. Now now, please.” My nails raked his chest, then his ass, trying to pull him into me, which was almost impossible with our underwear still in place, but soon mine was gone, his rough hands caressing me gently until I was breathless. I had the wherewithal to get him out of his as I panted senselessly against his neck, each stroke of his fingers pushing me closer to the brink of oblivion.
He knew me, understood how my body worked in ways I couldn’t comprehend. The way he teased and manipulated me was a work of mastery. I felt vibrant and ready to come apart at the seams.
“Now,” I begged again. We were preciously low on time. My mind was already getting sluggish, and soon my limbs would become useless and leaden. Sleep was inevitable, but I wanted to tumble into it with a smile on my face and the perfect warmth of an orgasm given to me by the love of my life humming through my nerves. If anything could keep my monsters at bay for one day, that would be it.
He obliged me roughly, like he couldn’t control himself enough to take me slow. I didn’t want his gentle lovemaking right now, though. I wanted it fast and greedy and perfect. Desmond looped his arms around me, holding me against him until we were pressed so tightly together our breaths began to fall in unison. Each thrust brought me closer, like a symphony swelling up towards its crescendo.
