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I shuddered and stepped closer to him, looping my arms around his, needing to feel something living and tangible. There was so much death out there, and I didn’t know what to think. My plan seemed so small in comparison to what the necros had done. They’d turned New York into a dead city, and how could I defeat that?
They’re only human.
“We’re getting closer,” Holden told me.
Beyond the ambling corpses, the image of a smoldering Chrysler Building caught my eye. I couldn’t look away. It was my favorite building in the city, and it was lit up like a Roman candle, smoking and beyond saving.
“Why would they do something like this?”
“You’re asking for logic out of evil. Evil doesn’t yield to reason, Secret. It simply exists to consume and destroy. Did you ever think maybe they just wanted to see if they could do it?”
“No.”
“Well…”
“I can’t think anyone would do this just for the sake of doing it. There must be a reason. Even if it’s a stupid reason, I need to believe there was something that motivated them to take things this far. No one burns a city to rubble because they think it’s a fun way to spend their Thursday.”
“There’s a first time for everything.”
I shook off his assessment, trying to push it out of my mind. I couldn’t leave it at that. Whatever the Hands of Death had come here for, it wasn’t just kicks and mayhem. I’d settle for an overkill way to assassinate someone, or perhaps wanting to establish their territory. Hell, I’d rather think they were trying to steal paintings from one of the art museums, or drugs from the hospitals. Any of those excuses, as flimsy and frustrating as they would be, was better than having no reason at all.
Anarchy might exist, but they were too organized for that to be their endgame. They’d planned this meticulously and divided their power. They’d been able to take the city to its knees in two hours flat. That took precision and careful work. Anarchists just threw dynamite into the cell and waited for the prisoners to start screaming.
Holden was already striding across the rooftop, and I jogged to catch up with him. He jumped from one building to the next effortlessly in spite of the wide gap between the two, and when I followed suit, I stumbled on my landing, proving no matter how graceful vampires and werewolves might be on their own, their joint offspring didn’t necessarily get the best of both worlds.
Dusting gravel off my palms as I got to my feet, I nearly walked into Holden’s back because he’d come to a sudden stop.
“Here,” he announced.
“You’re sure?”
One stiff nod was all the confirmation I needed.
“Now let’s get back so we can—” He stopped talking because I’d started to walk away and was no longer listening to him.
The decision to regroup after finding the necros was an integral part of the plan. A plan I had come up with myself. I’d been the one to drill into everyone’s head how important it was not to be a vigilante. Come back and don’t be a hero, I’d said.
So of course I was ignoring my own wisdom entirely.
“What are you doing?” He was beside me again, and I sidestepped before he was able to grab hold of me. Just because I didn’t flinch at every touch anymore didn’t mean I wanted everybody getting handsy with me.
“I’m going in.”
“That’s not the plan. You were very explicit about the plan.”
“I’m changing it.”
“You can’t change it.”
“Sure I can, I made it up. I can change it.”
I was almost at the next fire escape when he said, “And what if one of the others decided to change it? What if Desmond decided he was going to ignore you and go in guns blazing because he thought it would be easy to take out one necromancer all by himself?”
I froze. He wasn’t playing fair. Of course I wouldn’t want anyone else to do what I was about to do. But I had a double standard for myself. I knew I was never going to abide by the rules, so I generally assumed they didn’t apply to me. I’d figured by now everyone else should know this about me as well. Rules were more like suggestions, and right now I was choosing to ignore the suggestion.
“We aren’t the others. I’m not the others. I’ve already killed one of these bastards.” I was still facing the fire escape so I didn’t have to look at him. I was worried if his expression was too earnest or fearful, I might change my mind and back down.
After what I’d seen on the streets, I couldn’t back down.
