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“Oh, shit! I knew she looked familiar!” Bodhi snaps his fingers and points at me. “You’re the one who called Ryan a nerd.”
“That was hilarious. He’s a nice guy but definitely a little nerdy.” The woman laughs. “Hi, I’m Tess. This idiot is my husband, and this little sleeping nugget of perfection is Nora. It’s Danica, right?”
Okay, I feel stupid now.
As I take a few steps toward the front door, Tess steps outside under the portico. Shifting the sleeping baby up to her shoulder, she reaches her hand out to me.
“You can call me Danny.” I smile at her, shaking her hand. “I’m sorry to bother you. I was just wondering when Ryan would be back.”
“Oh, yeah. She’s looking for Ryan.” Bodhi nods from behind Tess. “I thought she was selling Girl Scout cookies.”
“Why in the fuck would a grown woman be selling Girl Scout cookies?”
“Well, that’s just age discrimination, and I will not allow it. If Nora wants to sell Girl Scout cookies when she’s an adult, Nora can sell Girl Scout cookies when she’s an adult.”
“How many pot brownies did you eat while I was in the shower?”
“What? None.”
“Bodhi…?”
“Okay, two.”
“Bodhi!”
“Fine! Four.God.”
My head bobs back and forth between the couple like I’m at a tennis match.
“Wait, you wanted to know when Ryan would beback?” Tess finally looks away from her husband and at me. “I don’t think he’s ever been to our house. Was he supposed to be here?”
“Okay, nowI’mconfused. So Ryan Huttondoesn’tlive here? This is 324 Dolphin Lane, right?” I look back at Tristan’s text, making sure for the third time I read it correctly.
“Yes, but Ryan lives at 423 Paradise Lane. It’s one street over.” Tess points to her left.
Fucking Tristan!
“I amsosorry to bother you!” I quickly tell her, shoving my phone back in the pocket of my jeans. “Someone gave me the wrong address.”
“No worries! You want some pot brownies for the road?” Bodhi asks.
“You cannot offer pot brownies to everyone who comes to the door.”
“It’s called being neighborly, Tess. This is why we never get invited to the potlucks.”
“No one wants to eat a shitty casserole that’s been sitting out in the sun all day, making small talk with morons.”
“Oookay, I’m just gonna get going,” I interrupt their arguing, starting to back away from the house. “Sorry again for the interruption and the confusion.”
“Wait. Give me your number!” Tess orders, handing the baby over to Bodhi when she wakes up and starts to cry. “We’re due for a Sip and Bitch soon. You should come, and I can introduce you to the girls.”
“A sip and what?” I ask as Tess pulls her phone out of the pocket of her shorts, typing in my number as I rattle it off.
“Don’t question it, Danny. Just let Sip and Bitch happen. It’s safer that way,” Bodhi tells me before walking back inside the house, singing softly to the baby to get her to quiet down.
“It’s just an excuse for us to get out of the house and away from our men so we can complain about them,” Tess explains, sending a text to my phone so I have her number as well. “What happens at Sip and Bitch, stays at Sip and Bitch.”
Tess assures that she’ll text me about this Sip and Bitch thing and tells me to say hello to Ryan for her. And then she rushes back into the house when we hear a crash from inside, followed by Bodhi muttering, “We’re just gonna tell your mom thatyoubroke this, okay? You’ll cover for me, right?”
