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With a frustrated sigh, I swipe at some of my wet hair stuck to my face. “Out on the street,” I continue, since there’s no use acting like a wuss now. “I wanted to kiss you. And I thought maybe you wanted to kiss me too, but you pulled away. Am I doing something wrong?”
Not even the dimly lit entryway can hide the darkening of Ryan’s eyes as he takes another step toward me, then quickly stops again, until my heart is pounding so loudly in my chest it can probably be heard over the thunder outside.
I watch him open and close his mouth a few times before quickly snapping it shut, stopping himself from whatever he was about to say. His hands clench and unclench down at his sides, and I just wish he would freaking talk to me.
“Just say it,” I beg. “Whatever you’re thinking, just say it. Even if you need to say you’re not attracted to me, I promise it’s fine.”
No, it’s not, you liar! If that’s the case, we’re calling Tess and burning it all to the ground, goddammit!
“You thinkI’mnot attracted toyou?” Ryan whispers in shock, and I just shrug.
He takes another tentative step, then stops, rubbing his hand against the back of his neck, until I want to close the distance, grab that hand, and shove it between my legs.
“You drive me crazy.”
“The feeling is mutual,” I mutter, making the corner of his mouth tip up into an adorable grin, before he gets serious again.
“You’re not doing anything wrong. You… You doeverythingright. I feel like I can’t breathe when I’m around you. I feel like I’m losing my mind every time I look at you. You have no idea how much I wanted to kiss you out in that rain.” He pauses again, swallowing a few times, then he clears his throat. “If I kissed you out on that street, in front of all those people, I wouldn’t have been able to stop. I wouldn’t havewantedto stop. That’s theonlyreason I pulled away. I didn’t trust myself to stay in control if your mouth was on any part of me.”
Holy shit.
“I wouldn’t have minded,” I quickly tell him, having a difficult time swallowing with how dry my mouth has become from how hard I’m panting after his admission.
His eyes study mine for so long I feel like my knees might give out as I push away from the door and take my own step toward him, stopping when Ryan lets out a frustrated grunt before swiping his hand through his wet hair.
“The things I want to do to you right now feelverydisrespectful for a first date,” Ryan says in a quiet voice, making my stomach flop, wondering exactly what this man thinks of as “disrespectful.” I really hope it’s everything going through my own mind at this moment, but I’m guessing it’s probably a little more PG.
“Feel free to disrespect me any time now,” I whisper on a shaky voice.
Ryan’s eyes widen for just long enough that I wonder if that was a little too much for a first date, like he said, until there’s another loud crack of thunder outside that shakes the house.
“Fuck it,” Ryan suddenly mutters, and now it’s my turn to look at him in shock when he curses.
Why in the hell is him saying that word so hot?
And then he moves.
Before I can take another breath, Ryan stalks toward me again. He closes the distance and doesn’t stop this time until he grabs my face and crashes his mouth down to mine. I sigh in relief as soon as his warm, wet lips are on mine, and he crowds me back against the door with his hard body pressed against me, pinning me against the wood. Clutching the front of his wet shirt in my fists as his tongue finds mine and winds around it, I moan into his mouth at the first taste of him again, the sound spurring Ryan on, making him kiss me harder, deeper, until the room really does start to spin. I built that first kiss in the pizza shop up in my head so much that I worried it wouldn’t be as good the next time, and I was right.
It’s not as good as the first kiss.
It’ssomuch better.
He kisses me like he’s starved for me, lips never yielding, tongue never slowing with its sweet torture, until his hands drop from my face to wrap around my body, yanking me closer, hips jerking against me so I can feel how hard he is. My body thrums with need with each swipe of his tongue through my mouth, until I’m wrapping my arms around his shoulders, hooking my ankle around the back of his leg, and pulling him closer, rubbing against him, needing him to soothe the ache in my body that’s been there since the first time we did this.
He kisses me senseless, scrambling my brain with every swipe of his tongue against mine, and when his palm trails up my spine to grip the back of my neck like he did that day at Giovanni’s, I’m wet and aching for him so badly I think I’m going to explode. When the hand I watched rubbing his ball all night slides down to grip my ass and grind my lower half harder against him, I’m pretty sure Idoexplode from the completely bold and unexpected move out of this quiet, shy man.
Just as quickly as it began, Ryan is suddenly ending the kiss, wrenching his mouth away from mine, and taking a few stumbling steps back from me, with his hands up in the air like someone is pointing a gun at him. I have a hard time drawing air into my lungs, and my body suddenly feels cold and empty—now that he moved away, and now that his lips aren’t on mine any longer.
“I have a five-date-minimum rule!” he quickly announces, having his own trouble breathing as he pants while his eyes stay locked on my mouth. “But I really,reallywant to break it right now.”
“I don’t know what that means, but if it has anything to do with younotfucking the hell out of me at this point in time, I don’t really care.”
“Sweet Jesus.” Ryan breathes out the words on an exhale, slowly dropping his hands back down to his sides and staring at me in awe.
Or, staring at me like I’ve completely lost my mind. Which I have.
My head thumps back against the door as I look at him, my body tingling with anticipation and need, especially after that kiss. I’ve never been kissed like that before. Like he couldn’t hold back, and he didn’t think about anything—he just acted on what he wanted. And Ryan wants me. I can see it in his eyes, and I can definitely see it in the bulge in his jeans that I can still feel rubbing against me. I’d really like him to do more acting and less thinking, but I fear I may have broken him by not using my filter.
