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Chapter 18
Ryan
“For the love of God, man, stop getting aboner!”
“You’re freaking out.”
“No, I’m not.”
“Your panic attack says otherwise.”
“Is it hot in here all of a sudden? Why is the stupid air off?”
“I told you ten times already; I’m fine. Stop freaking out.”
“You’re not fine! It’s too much, too soon, and now I ruined everything.”
“I’m pretty sure this was my idea. Nothing is ruined, I assure you.”
“Are you in pain? Blink once for yes and twice for no.”
“Of course I’m in pain. Are you freaking kidding me right now? But it’sfine.I can handle it.”
“Oh my God, Iknewit! I can’t believe you let it go this far. You promised you would say something if it wasn’t okay!”
“It’s fine! I swear. I wanted this. I actually begged for it, if you’ll remember.”
“Hottest moment of my life.”
“See? Everything is just fine.”
“What if he fucks it up? This is permanent, Ryan!”
“You know I can hear you, right?” the tattoo artist mutters to Danny, his needles piercing into the back of my shoulder never stopping, as the man thankfully continues to concentrate on what he’s doing.
“Sorry! You’re doingexcellentwork, my friend. Keep that shit up.” Danny smiles at the man, making me chuckle while also trying to hold perfectly still. And then her smile turns upside down when she looks back at me, squeezing my hand harder. “I can’t believe you’re really doing this.”
It’s the most adorable thing in the world that she’s freaking out about me getting my first tattoo. I’m sitting backward on an ergonomic chair with my shirt off. It has a lowered head rest for my chin, and a padded arm rest to set my elbows on, while the tattoo artist works quietly behind me on his stool. And Danny has been sitting on her own stool right next to me, gripping tightly to one of my hands, biting the thumbnail off her other hand, and worrying about me the entire time.
I have to say, it’s a nice change of pace after I spent most of the night last night after we had sex, and all day today, freaking out that I behaved like too much of an animal for our first time. Or foranytime for that matter.
I tried to call a time-out and get myself back under control after that earth-shattering kiss against my front door that made me practically maul her, but it didn’t work. Especially when she took that dress off her body before I could do it myself. I took one look at her standing in my entryway, dripping wet in red lace against all that smooth, pale skin, telling me she didn’t want me to be a gentleman, and all I heard in my head after that point was static.
She wanted me. Shereallywanted me, and it was overwhelming how good it made me feel—and also how crazed it made me feel. I just wanted to mark her, claim her, make her mine, and make her come until the ache in my chest went away and the wild animal inside me calmed down. But the ache didn’t go away, and it didn’t calm the beast down. It just made him hungrier for more.
Thankfully, we were both too exhausted to go for a second round, no matter how much I wanted to. I was too afraid I wouldn’t be able to control myself again. We changed into pajamas, ate bowls of cereal standing up and leaning against the kitchen counter, not saying a word and just smiling at each other over our bowls like lunatics. Then we curled up on the couch to watch some TV, both of us immediately passing out.
I know she liked it. The sounds of her begging me for more and her shouting my name when she came,twice, will be ringing in my ears and making me hard until the end of time, no matter where I am or what I’m doing.
Like right now. While my shirt is off and another man is touching my shoulder.
Totally not awkward at all.
But as soon as we got changed last night, I felt like a jerk. I could have been gentler with her. Taken my time and worshiped every inch of her body slowly, instead of ramming into her on a table in my entryway. Butmy God, the way her body fit me like a glove, and the scratches she left down my back from her nails digging into me, her voice in my ear hoarse after screaming my name from the first orgasm I gave her—“Harder, more, more, more!”
For the love of God, man, stop getting a boner!
“Whatever you’re thinking, stop it.”
