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Chapter 19
Ryan
“Please take me to the emergency room.”
Danny:How’s your day going?
Me:Good. Just finished grading some papers. Getting ready to eat lunch.
Danny:What’s on the menu today?
Me:A vagina burger.
Danny:Wow, Summersweet High is very progressive. Sounds delicious. Do they put a special sauce on it?
Me:VEGGIE! Veggie burger.
Danny:That sounds way less exciting.
Me:I could stay home tonight and actually have that first option, you know…
Danny:No! You’re going. Seriously, go, and have fun with the boys. I have some sketching I need to finish, and you’re too distracting when you’re here.
Me:How exactly am I distracting?
Danny:Do you need me to stroke your ego?
Me:I need you to stroke something other than my ego right now.
Danny:Ryan Hutton! Are you sexting me AT WORK?
Me:It seems I am. Probably not a wise idea. I cannot get a boner at work.
Me:I still can’t believe you got me an invite to a party at the cool kid’s house. What if they don’t like me?
Danny:There will be none of that nonsense, mister. They will LOVE hanging out with you. You’ll be fine. Take off your shirt, and show them your tat *winky face emoji*. Or your mug shot. Either will do.
Me:I don’t think you’re supposed to smile in a mug shot. That’s definitely not cool.
Danny:It’s a VERY good picture of you. I’m going to make it the wallpaper on my phone.
Me:Of course you are. Also, I’m not sure taking my shirt off in front of a bunch of very cool, very badass men and professional athletes will make them think I’M cool or that I should be hanging out with them.
Danny:Just relax and be yourself. I promise you will have a good time with them. I love their women. They are amazing and would not be with losers. And only a loser would think you are anything but amazing.
Danny:And when you get home, I’ll let you have a vagina burger and put your special sauce all over it.
Me:Good God, woman!
Me:Dammit. Now I have a boner at work.
“So, you’ve gotPalmer down at the end of the table ironing some glitter decals on shirts for me. Bodhi is over there at the bar, cutting out some vinyl for a few coffee mugs. And I’m refilling my glitter containers with the new shipment I just got in over there in my craft room. Dean is working on his latest craft—”
“It’s not a craft, dipshit,” Laura’s husband cuts him off while Shepherd pointed around his finished basement at everyone for me. “I don’t craft. It’s latch hook. Call it what it is, and stop making me sound like a pussy.”
Shepherd sighs and rolls his eyes, while I smother my laughter. Dean is close to sixty but looks like one of those badass biker guys on the showSons of Anarchy, with his salt-and-pepper, neatly trimmed facial hair, and tattoos up and down both of his giant arms. He would probably kick my butt if I laughed at him right now.
“Right, so Dean islatch hookinga very pretty pillow with a unicorn and a rainbow on it, like a big, strong, manly man,” Shepherd finishes his explanation, while Dean glares at him from the other side of the table in front of us.
