Page 46 of Baller Boss


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Austin nods slowly. “Yeah, you’re probably right. Plus, I’ve got to figure out this investor thing,” he adds, raking a hand over his head. A gesture I already know is a sign of major frustration.

“You’ll find a new investor,” I reassure him. “It’s a great business, and you’ve got the vision, too. The right person will step up to the plate… Sorry. Unintentional.”

He doesn’t look convinced but manages a smile. “Thanks. And thanks for the coffee. I’ll see you at work.”

I watch him go, wishing I could take back my brush-off, but I don’t have a choice.

“Way to go, Walker,” I mutter to myself, heading back inside. “How’s that main character energy treating you now?”

I go console myself with leftover stitch-and-bitch sangria and the rest ofThe Real Househusbandsof New Yorkmarathon. The show is pure reality nonsense, and exactly what I need to escape my own tangled reality, but watching the guys bicker over a luau-themed casino night, it’s hard not to take their words personally.

“You’re shady as a weekend in Napa,” an actress’s husband yells at the live-in-lover of a DIY king. “I can’t believe a word you say!”

Ouch.

“Yeah, well you need to figure out who you are, because you’re faker than the Renoir that Swiss guy tried to sell us on vacation last year!”

“Come on now,” the voice of reason, Mac McClintock soothes. His wife, Lanie, made her fortune selling neon shapewear, and he’s the one holding happily down the fort of their palatial penthouse. “We’re all just trying to figure things out. Take a deep breath. Sven!” he calls, and the strapping Swede they have on retainer appears to start massaging everyone’s troubles away.

If only it were that easy for me.

Of course, I’m not a pampered househusband with time on my hands and the money to back it up…

Wait a second.

I sit up so fast, I slosh sangria over my shirt, but I don’t care. Because I think I just had the best wine-fueled idea of, well, all time.

Mac McClintock!

I stare at the screen, watching him try to train Lanie’s twin Pomeranians Cash and Money to do tricks. I’ve been watching this show for three seasons, and Mac notoriously loves two things: Lanie and a spa session. After a long week, my favorite gif to send Millie is Mac leaning over the kitchen island of the McClintock townhouse, muttering, “I need a drink. And a shiatsu massage.”

Wouldn’t he want to invest in Austin’s spa?

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