Page 110 of The Even Odder Couple


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“Yeah, good luck with that.” Fix shakes this head, openly snickering. “Either way, she wants you back up at the barbecue as soon as possible.”

Mrs. Dodd increases her grip on my arm. “Now, about my autobiography…”

“I’ll speak to Mr. Dudley on your behalf.” I pat her knobby knuckles and nod. “We’ll work on making some space.”

“Enough for one hundred copies.” She lifts a finger. “The whole town will want to read it.”

“Yes. I’m sure they will,” I say. I smile at her, but my heart’s already on the road to the hospital.

“You’re such a wonderful boy,” Mrs. Dodd says, releasing my arm to grab hold of her boyfriend. “Now don’t go getting jealous, Milty. I like a man with a few more decades of seasoning on him.”

Milton winks at her. “I’ve got plenty of seasoning, Flo. And it’s all for you, my love.”

The two of them hobble back toward the ranch, giggling as they go. Fix says, “Hold up, Grams,” and heads up the dirt path after them.

“Here.” Lucy hands me something. A piece of paper folded up like origami. Someone’s written my name across the front in a hasty scrawl. “Tess asked me to give this to you.”

“What is it?”

“A note.” She cocks an eyebrow, and I wonder how much she knows. “She said you should wait to read it later, though. After the kids are asleep.”

Oh, man. Seriously? I’m ready to kick my friends off the ranch and tear this note open now. But I can control myself. For Tess.

Anything for her.

“Sounds like we’d better get going,” Milo says. “But I’m glad we got to see you, man. At least for a little while. It was worth sticking around town today.”

Caden nods. “The food in your town is better than I thought.”

“Not to mention the women,” Troy says. As Lucy turns to go, he gawks at her backside like a cartoon wolf with his tongue lolling out. “I may have to visit Apple Valley again soon.”

“Oh, yeah?” I clap him on the shoulder, digging my fingers in. Hard. “How about you stay away until you grow up?”

“Ah, Spence. You’re such an old man.”

I give him my best clenched-teeth smile. Like fangs. And I’m not sorry. “If you’re implying I’m nothing like you, I’ll take that as a compliment.”

Troy throws his head back and laughs.

“Boys, boys, boys.” Milo shakes his head. “Can’t we all get along?”

“Absolutely,” I say. “I just get along with Troy better from a distance.”

Troy shrugs. “Works for me.” My fingers are still gripping his shoulder.

“Well, I love you, brother.” Milo comes toward me and goes in for a fist bump. I use my free hand to bump his back, and keep the other one on Troy. I’m not letting go until we’re in the parking lot, and he’s climbing into the car.

“Let’s take off.” Caden pats his stomach. “I’m getting hungry, anyway. We can grab some burgers on the way out.”

“Man.” Troy smirks. “You’re all a bunch of Steaming Wienies.”

* * *

Back at the barbecue, after sending my former roommates off with food, I look around for Mrs. Lockhart. She’s nowhere to be found. Neither is my brother, but his Mustang is gone, so Frank must’ve shown up at some point. Hopefully he left my car in the lot with my keys inside, or else I’ll be stuck here without a ride.

I head over to the grill where Kayla is standing with Clive. “Either of you seen the mayor?” I ask.

“Not for a while,” Kayla says, but she’s too busy making heart-eyes at the chef to be a reliable source.

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