Page 116 of The Even Odder Couple


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“Nope. I call second. And I’m your boss, so. You go. Now.”

“Ahhh.” His mouth quirks. “I see how it is. But fair warning, my news is pretty shocking.”

I shove my plate away with a fake scoff. “I saw a woman give birth tonight, and now I might want one of those baby things too.”

His eyes fly open. “Really?”

“Maybe. Yeah. My point is nothing can shock me anymore.”

He works his jaw back and forth, like he’s chewing on something big. I probably shouldn’t have blurted out that I might want to be a mother now. That’s a lot to digest on half a hamburger, two pickles, and very little sleep.

“Anyway,” I say. “Back to your news. I’m ready now. Shoot.”

Spencer snaps back to attention. “All right,” he says. “But brace yourself.”

“Consider me fully braced.”

“Braced enough to discover that Mrs. Lockhart and Mr. Dudley … are a thing?”

“A thing.” My nose crinkles. “What does that even mean?”

He waggles his eyebrows. “It means I caught them making out at the barbecue last night.”

Ack. Gah. “NO!”

“Yes.” Spencer chuckles. “Even after all her talk of nofraternization.” He shrugs. “And yet there they were. Behind the dining hall, in a lip-lock of epic prop—”

“Oh, no, no, no, no, no! You’vegotto be kidding.” I clap my hands over both sides of my head. “I think my eardrums need bleach!”

Spencer’s laughing out loud now. “Tell that to my eyes. The image of those two mangling each other’s mouths is permanently seared into my—”

“No!” I throw my hand up. “You’d better stop now or you’re going to see hotdog coming back up.”

“Deal. Believe me, I’d be happy to never speak of this again.”

“In her defense,” I say, “Mrs. Lockhart and Mr. Dudley aren’t coworkers, and they are both single. But still. They’re public figures.” I stifle a grin. “A widow and a bachelor sneaking off in the middle of barbecue night? That’s next level.” I shake my head. “Who knew pepperoni breath was so appealing?”

“Not to mention beehives,” Spencer says.

“Honestly?” I cringe a little at what I’m about to admit. “As much as I do not want to picture those two kissing, I’m kind of happy for them. In fact, they might be made for each other.”

Spencer holds a finger up. “But we did promise not to speak of them anymore.”

“You’re right.” I salute him. “Barbecue night is the new Fight Club.”

We both bite back more laughter, then his eyes lock with mine. “So, Tess.” He pauses long enough for me to sense a shift in tone. The hum of the refrigerator makes my brain buzz. “Whatcanwe talk about? Do you have something you’d like to share?”

My heart beats hard, and I wrap both arms around myself, snuggling deeper into his sweatshirt. The softness is so different from his strength. I guess we’re all about contradictions now. “I once told you—or maybe more than once—I’m not in the market for a relationship,” I say. “Like ever. With anyone.”

“Yeah.” Spencer’s eyelids lower to half-mast. “I remember.”

“Well.” I suck in a breath and plant a hand on the counter, so I don’t fall off the stool. “Lately, I’ve been thinking that might not be entirely true. Not forever. Not if the right person came along.”

Spencer nods. “That’s a lot of nots.”

I nod back. “Three nots.”

“Does a triple negative mean it’s a positive?”

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