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“Hey. I know I’m a little woozy from the meds, but I also know what I’m saying, in case you’re wondering.”
“I believe you,” he says. “I’m just not sure you’ll remember any of this later.”
I shrug. “Probably I will. Maybe. I think so.”
“Then I have something to tell you too. Even if you end up forgetting.”
“I won’t.”
He sucks in a long breath and holds it. Holds it. Holds it. If he were a balloon, I’d be afraid he’d pop all over me.
“I’ve spent way too much time measuring,” he says. “I’m ready to cut now.”
“Huh?” Okay. Maybe the meds are getting to me more than I thought.
“Like the fortune cookie said, remember? It’s a metaphor. I’ve measured this situation … our situation … way more than twice… Instead of being honest with you. With myself.”
“Ohhhh.” I bob my head. “I get it now.”
“Do you?”
“No.” I laugh, and his face breaks into a grin.
“I love you, Tess McCoy.”
“Oh, yeah! That I get. I heard you tell me back on the mountain. When you were carrying me off the trail. And I didn’t even have any pain meds in me then or anything. But I couldn’t talk back to you. I was too tired. It was too dark behind my eyes. But I wanted to tell you.”
“Tell me what?”
“I love you, too, my Sexy Spencer Superman.”
* * *
Over the next hour, almost everyone from the waiting room comes in to visit. Except Jonah and Val. I don’t really know them. But I’m a fan of anyone who brings people sandwich trays. Lucy and Fix come in with Mrs. Dodd and her boyfriend, Milton. Lucy mouths, “I’m so sorry,” when Mrs. Dodd insists on reading to me from her autobiography.
When Mac comes in, clearing his throat and wiping his eyes, Spencer says he’ll give us a minute, then leaves the room. Mac stands all the way over in the corner, like being too close to me might make this more real. “Brooke wanted to be here,” he says. “But the hospital’s not good for … well.”
“Of course. She should be home with Daisy and Teddy.”
“Anyway, we’re all so glad you’re okay.” His voice cracks, and my eyes well up.
“Aww. Don’t get mushy on me, Mac.”
“No, I mean it.” He runs a hand across his chin. “You had us real worried there for a minute. When I got the call you were in an ambulance—and heard the words anaphylactic shock—my heart just … stopped.” He cuts his eyes away, shifts his weight. “The thing is, that snakebite was an accident. But you’ve been pushing yourself pretty hard. And I’m pretty sure I’ve got something to do with that.” He takes a beat and looks up again. “After we lost Dad”—his breath hitches—“I tried acting like a father to you. Darb. Liv. But I’m not Dad. I’m your big brother. That’s who I always want to be.”
I blink through the tears streaming down my face. This may be the most serious conversation we’ve had since the day I got Mac to admit he was in love with Brooke.
No. More serious.
He finally comes over to the bed and hands me the box of tissues. “Either way,” he says. “I’m just busting with pride at the woman you’ve become.”
I shake my head and blow my nose. “But I didn’t go to law school like I was supposed to.” I sniffle. “And then I left McCoys. And I still don’t know what’s next for me after this summer. Or even where I’ll live.”
“You don’t have to know any of that yet,” he says. “Because one thing’s for sure, whatever you do, you’ll throw your whole self into it.” He nods at my leg, and his upper lip quirks. “Quite literally.”
Now I’m laughing through my tears, swiping at my wet cheeks with a tissue. “I’m on pain meds, Mac. You can’t say stuff to me like this.”
His mouth goes crooked. “My apologies. And you know, with absolutely zero pressure, I’d be happy to help you out. With money for a place to live. A job. Whatever. But—”
