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“Yeah.” His shoulders stiffen, and something shifts behind his eyes. So I avert mine. “I’m sorry Kayla ended up with Clive tonight. That probably wouldn’t have happened if Mrs. Lockhart hadn’t made you come sit with us.”
“I’m not sorry.” Spencer’s jaw shifts. “I never believed she was into me, anyway.”
“But—”
“We don’t have to talk about that,” he says. “I think I understand what you’ve been trying to do.”
I tilt my head.How could he possibly?I’m not even sure I understand myself.
For my entire life, I’ve leaped before looking, and this situation is no different. But now I’m wishing for something I can’t have for a whole bunch of reasons. So maybe there’s something to be said for making a plan. For thinking things through.
For being more like Spencer.
“I also get all the pressure you’re under.” He takes a step forward, and I can smell his cologne again. “More than you probably know.” His voice is deep now. Husky. Almost gruff.
My pulse picks up, and my heart is a throb in my head. This is dangerous territory. I need to deflect. “Now’s probably not a good time …”
For what? What are you imagining, Tess? That Spencer wants to kiss you?
“I tried talking to you earlier,” he says, “but you were busy.”
He takes a beat and swallows. I swallow too. Sympathy gulps.
“Is this about how I hold my chopsticks?” I squeak, as he inches toward me, dipping his head.
“This is about Step 5,” he says.
Huh?
He slips one arm behind me to the small of my back. When he pulls my body to him, my heart starts cartwheeling. How am I still standing? Oh, right. Because I’m pressed against Spencer, and somehow I believe there’s no way he’d let me fall.
I tip my chin up, and the moonlight is a crescent in his eyes. His gaze drops to my lips, and he sucks in a breath. A shiver runs up my spine.
Is he going to kiss me?
He’s going to kiss me.
I can’t let him kiss me.
“Kiss me,” I say.
But I barely get the words out, because his mouth is already on mine. And as he gathers me to him, I’m a feather in his arms, floating off the ground, surrendering to his strength. His warm breath blends with mine, so much sweetness mixed together. I tilt my face, moving with him. Apart. Together. Apart.
His lips whisper along my jawline before skimming back to taste the spot where he started. He’s so patient with me, taking his time.How much kissing has this man done?We need to stop, but I don’t want to stop. My world is spinning, and my insides unravel. I am dizzy. Weightless. Hovering above our entwined bodies.
Then Spencer pulls away.
With a gasp, I crash to earth. Still me, but a shell of myself. Even as the string between us snaps, I can still feel his lips on mine. And all I want is to be in his arms again, untethered, but also grounded. I’ve never felt this way before. So close to another person. Until Spencer takes a step backward.
Literally.
“There’s something I need to tell you,” he says. His voice is sandpaper on concrete. What could possibly be more important than kissing me? I swear if he brings up chopsticks …
“I did something stupid,” he says.
