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I let it out in a rush, and I see Rule staring at me, his mouth quirked up into a small smile.
“What?” I ask him, but he just shakes his head, his grayish eyes sparkling with secrets.
I rest my head on his shoulder, a wave of drowsiness hitting me out of nowhere. I’ve been so keyed up, stressed over this stalker business. Last night in the cabin was the first time that I slept through the night in weeks. I think that all of those sleepless nights are catching up to me now.
I curl up into his side more, and I can feel him tense. I can feel the longing coming off of him in waves, and I wonder why he doesn’t make a move. Doesn’t he want me?
I tuck my feet under me on the couch, practically sitting in his lap, but he only tenses up more, his hands tightening into fists as he stares stonily at the TV screen.
It hits me then.
I’m throwing myself at him.
I’ve become my mom. She could never be alone, always going from one guy to the next. I haven’t seen or spoken to her in years. She tried to get me to buy her a house for her and her newest boyfriend, the one that she had kicked me out of the house for a few months prior when I had signed my first contract. I was lucky that I had Arlowe and her family to take me in, or I would have been out on the streets.
I recoil, jerking away from Rule so fast that I think I startle both of us.
“Sorry,” I mumble, climbing to my feet and tossing the blanket back on the couch.
“Harvie?”
“I’m tired. I’m going to go to bed now.”
“What’s wrong?” he asks, climbing to his feet.
“Nothing. I’m just tired.”
“Bullshit,” he snaps, and I turn to glare at him, but it softens when I see the concern in his eyes.
“Sorry. Listen, I get it. I’m not going to throw myself at you.”
“Harvie—” he starts, but I shake my head to cut him off.
“Night.”
I turn to leave once again, but he stops me with his hand on my arm. I steel myself as I turn to face him.
SEVEN
Rule
My hand tightenson her wrist when she doesn’t turn around right away. I can hear my heart pounding in my ears and something in my gut is telling me that this moment is important, that the way that I handle this is critical for our future.
She finally turns around, her green eyes looking embarrassed, and I want to drop to my knees and tell her that I want her more than my next breath, that I want to worship her body, that she is my new religion.
I can’t do any of that though.
“It’s my job to keep you safe, to protect you,” I tell her, and she tries to tug her hand free. “I can’t hurt you.”
“Would you?” she counters, and I notice that she’s stopped trying to get away from me.
I hesitate answering her. The short answer is no. I’d rather stab myself in the heart than hurt a hair on her head, but I have no experience with dating. I’m not really a soft guy and that’s what she needs. It’s what she deserves.
“Not intentionally,” I tell her when she tries to pull away again. “I’ve never tried to have a relationship before, but you make me want one.”
“I’ve never dated before either,” she admits, and my cock takes notice.
Not the time, I mentally scream at him.
