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“I need to speak with her.”
“Why?”
“I’m afraid I have some bad news, son.” He says and my stomach drops at those words.
I hear the door open behind me and Salem walks out to stand next to me. I wrap her in my arms and we stand like that while the sheriff tells us what happened. Salem stares wide eyed at him as he tells her how her father was drunk and drove his car into a tree just a mile up the road.
“He must have left here and started drinking. We got the call about an hour ago that there had been a wreck. By the time we got there, he was gone. I’m so sorry for your loss, dear.”
The sheriff holds his hat and we both stare down at Salem but she seems frozen. Finally, she just nods her head and looks up at me. I can see the sadness and guilt swirling in her eyes and I pull her closer into me. I whisper into her ear that it will be ok, over and over as I rock her back and forth. The sheriff leaves after he tells us that he’ll be in contact with any other questions.
We can go down to the coroners tomorrow for the body and plan the funeral after that. My heart breaks for her. I hated the man and I wouldn’t shed a tear for the bastard, not after how he treated my girl but my princess has a big heart and I know she wouldn’t wish this on him, on anyone. That some part of her was hoping he would just leave us alone and we could all live happily.
I carry her into the house and lay her down in our bed. I slide in after her and spoon her as she cries herself to sleep.
Chapter Eleven
Salem
The funeral was yesterday and Campbell and I were the only ones to show. Campbell had held me while the priest said a few words. We had stood silent while they lowered the casket into the ground and then he had led me back to his truck.
The last four days have passed in a blur of funeral planning and grief. I still can’t believe that my father is dead. I felt shock and sadness when the sheriff first told us the news but then the guilt and anger had set in. I was angry because he had treated me like a prisoner for years and I finally got away from him. I didn’t owe him anything. Then the guilt would hit. Guilt that I hadn’t just gone with him, then maybe he would still be alive, but even more guilt that I wasn’t really all that sad that he was dead.
I know he was my father and I feel like I should have loved him or cared for him but the truth is that he treated me like crap for too long and any affectionate feelings I might have had were used up long ago. I wish that we could have had a better relationship. I wish that I would have understood him or that he would have tried to understand me but it’s too late for that now.
Campbell has been by my side through all of this. He’s my rock and I don’t know what I would have done if he wasn’t here. He held my hand while we went to claim my father’s body. He helped me decide on a casket and headstone and funeral plot and then he paid for all of it.
Today, he’s helping me again.
We went back to my father’s house. I inherited it and the land and we need to figure out what we want to do with it. I already know that the house will need to be torn down; it’s in bad shape. Campbell drove me out here right after breakfast and we’ve been sitting in the truck for the last ten minutes. I’ve been trying to work up the courage to walk back into that house and Campbell has been sitting patiently with me.
Finally, I nod and throw my car door open. We both step down and start to make our way up the steps. I have to stop and point out to Campbell where the weak spots are and where he shouldn’t step as we go but we eventually tip toe our way inside. It’s only been a week but it’s feels like I’ve been gone much longer than that.
“We can take anything you want to with us. Just let me know and I’ll carry anything you want out to the truck. Ok, princess?”
I nod but I already know that I won’t be taking anything with me. I tell Campbell to stay on the first floor. The stairs are falling apart and there’s no way that they would be able to hold up under his weight. I pick my way upstairs and look around but almost everything was moved downstairs so it’s pretty bare.
I walk back towards the stairs and see Campbell waiting for me at the bottom. He wasn’t happy about me going up the stairs, said they were too dangerous and I can see the worry still there as I start to make my way down them. He holds his hand out to me as soon as I’m within reach and helps me down the last few stairs.
“Nothing upstairs?”
“No, it’s empty. We had brought everything down when the stairs got bad.”
He follows after me as I go into the living room and then the kitchen, asking me if I want any of the furniture or dishes. Everything is so old though that it should just be trashed. We walk into my room but everything that was important to me I took with me when I ran. I never had much to begin with so even my bedroom is pretty empty. I duck into the bathroom before moving on to the last room.
My father’s bedroom.
I was never allowed inside it and I hesitate now before I slowly push the door open. His scent is stronger in here and I walk in, taking in the unmade bed and the piles of clothes on the floor. I don’t want any of his clothes or furniture and I’m turning to leave when something catches my eyes. There’s a book on his nightstand. It’s old but I’ve never seen it before, which is weird because I read every book in this house at least a dozen times.
I walk closer and see that it’s not a book at all but a diary. My father doesn’t seem like the type to keep a diary or journal and my curiosity is piqued. I pick the book up, scanning the first couple of words and my breath catches in my throat.
“Salem? What is it?” Campbell asks as he makes his way towards me.
“It’s a diary. My mother’s diary.” I say as I look up at him with wide eyes.
I flip through it and stop when I see one word. Pregnancy. She was writing this diary when she was pregnant with me. I lean against Campbell as I start to read.
January 16th
