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But not with Aurora.
She was too important to him.
He did not want her to reject him because he had lied to her. He wanted only the truth between them.
“I needed to bring you out here to free my wretched soul of you.” He lightly kissed her cheek because she was soft and beautiful. “Instead, you’ve dug yourself in deeper.”
“Do you think I am not affected either? Have I not stumbled and bumbled my way since meeting you?”
“Think hard on this, Aurora. I am nothing more than that smart-mouthed boy off the streets of Torquay. You cannot take the street urchin out of me. This is why you should not want me. You deserve far better.”
“What if there is no better man for me? I could fall in love with that urchin.”
“Do not even contemplate it. Love me? That is impossible.”
“Why is it impossible? If I can be your dream, why can you not also be mine? Why must you deny us the chance?”
“An earl’s daughter? You grew up in a fine house. I grew up in a hovel. I used to think of you as I woke up in the winter’s darkness and set my feet on the freezing stone. I wanted desperately to crawl back into bed, but I would never allow myself the luxury. I wanted to become a man of whom you would be proud.”
She placed her palm flat against his heart, her touch now imprinted there forever. “But look at you now, Perin. You’ve got your invitation to Lady Dexter’s ball. Only the cream of society is ever permitted to attend.”
“I saved her son from the rage of a cuckholded husband, that is all. Do you know how I earned my wealth? Do you know the sort of businesses I run?”
“Are you ashamed of them?”
“No, but you would be. So would your family. Aurora, do not shake your head. If I told you how I attained my wealth, I know you would think less of me.”
“That is for me to decide, don’t you think? You are not being fair to me, Perin. Have you ever cheated anyone?”
“No, I would never.” He sighed and shook his head. “But I take advantage of their vices. I’ve lied to myself all these years, convinced myself I would take on more reputable trades once I had made my fortune. But I did not. The little boy I was wanted to be a somebody for you, Aurora. That little boy thought he would one day stand before you with his head held high and be proud of his accomplishments. But wisdom comes with maturity. I was mad to think I could ever shed that street urchin. I will never be noble. I will never be a hero as your uncles are.”
“So you think I ought to marry someone like Rodrick Fasswell?”
“No, never a dissolute like that man.”
“Then who? Why must you deprive me of my choice?”
He laughed. “You are scowling at me. Why? You have known me for the length of a dance and the length of a kiss and the length of a cup of tea. How can I possibly be your choice?”
“How can my heartnotbe yours after what you have told me?” She let out her breath. A light trail of vapor formed around her lovely mouth because the air was so cold. “Or is this all you ever wanted me to be? Your dream. Never real. Never the woman who would share your life, with whom you would grow old and build memories. Is that it?”
“I don’t know.” He led her back indoors, hoping no one had missed them in the few minutes they were gone. The waltz was just coming to an end. “Let me escort you back to your parents. You should keep away from your so-called friends. They are a fast set.”
“Very well, but do not expect me to ever forget you…or forgive you for denying us the chance.”
He had thought meeting her would put closure to his dream, for he had become successful and no longer needed her inspiration to propel him.
But he had fallen in love with Aurora.
It was done and could never be undone.
He’d known it the moment they had gathered her ribbons and locked gazes.
Served him right for his arrogance.
Her parents greeted him warmly when he escorted Aurora back to them. They spoke of Lady Westcliff’s brother. Since Perin returned to Torquay often to see his sister, he always made it a point to visit Peter Croft, as well. The man had been a father to him after he’d lost his own at an early age.
One did not forget the good people in one’s life.
