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AUDREY
I knelton the hard arena floor and cried into my hands, muffling my sobs, until I couldn’t cry anymore. My eyes and throat hurt and my chest felt hollow like it had when Knox had rejected our bond.
A small voice inside me begged me to get up, do something, stand up for myself, but I had no idea what to do. I was permanently bound to Knox. I was trapped in Stonehaven and in this pack with no hope of escape until I died.
Was this how my father felt? Had he felt trapped in his nightmares? Had he known the only way to escape and end the horror was to die?
I didn’t want to accept that killing myself was my only option, but there wasn’t any other way to end my awful reality. I couldn’t run away and there was no point in waiting for something to change. Nothing ever changed.
A part of me couldn’t reconcile the Cyrus who’d just yelled at me with the Cyrus who I’d walked with for a month. How could he have suddenly turned into an alpha like Merrick or Sterling?
No. He was worse than them. He’d hidden who he really was for our entire journey north and back. Sure, he hadn’t been the most welcoming, but I hadn’t thought he was a typical alpha. I’d thought we could have eventually become friends.
The memory of my fevered fantasy rushed through me and more tears threatened to fall.
I’d greedily fantasized that we could have been more than friends, even if I was mated to his brothers.
God, I was such an idiot. Such a stupid, foolish, naive little girl.
Even if I trusted that Bishop wasn’t trying to trick me like Royce had, he wouldn’t be able to protect me from Cyrus. Cyrus was the alpha. His word was pack law unless someone challenged him and won. But only a powerful alpha would be able to stand a chance against Cyrus and if I learned anything from this horrible lesson, it was that all alphas were the same.
Except Bishop was an alpha…
Which meant my nightmares had been right. He was using me and once he’d had his fun, I’d see the real Bishop just like I’d seen the real Cyrus.
I rasped a strangled sob, my eyes burning, too sore and dry to cry anymore.
It couldn’t be true. That wasn’t who Bishop was. That wasn’t even who Cyrus really was. They were the men who’d made sure I ate when I was exhausted, who held me when I was tired, and who told me I had a future with their pack and with them. They weren’t monsters like Merrick and Sterling and Royce.
But it didn’t matter how much I wanted something to not be true. It didn’t even matter if there was a chance it wasn’t true. I couldn’t let my guard down, couldn’t be so stupidly trusting like I’d been for the last month. I had to stay quiet and stay small. For the rest of my life.
Which was no life at all.
Voices echoed in the vast arena, coming from the gated passage behind me, and I scrambled to my feet.
Stay quiet. Stay small.
Stay invisible.
Cyrus and Deacon had left on the far side of the arena where one of the gates was unlocked, and I bolted toward it. The voices behind me grew louder and the metal gate clanged open.
A masculine voice called out as I reached the passage and slipped into the darkness beyond. Thankfully, he didn’t order me back and didn’t release any alpha power to stop me, and I hurried down the passage into the wider hall.
The hall was still dimly lit and I prayed whoever was behind me wouldn’t follow me. I probably shouldn’t have fled and just faced whatever punishment they were going to give me. They were going to report what they’d seen to Cyrus, and he’d know I’d stayed where I wasn’t supposed to be after he’d left.
But I hadn’t been able to ignore the compulsion to flee. I was prey, after all, and running was what prey did.
The thought filled me with a bone deep exhaustion, and the small burst of energy that had propelled me out of the arena drained out of me, weighing me down.
Aimlessly, I followed the hall that turned out to be one large circle ringing the arena and returned to the large front entrance. Sunshine blazed in the courtyard beyond, an almost blinding light compared to the shadowy hall, but I didn’t care. I wasn’t sure if I cared about anything anymore.
If Cyrus wanted to find me, he’d find me. Once Knox woke, he’d be able to find me even faster since our mating bond was so strong I could feel when his emotions were raging out of control.
Despite that, I didn’t want to go back to the Residence, didn’t want to go back to the fancy suite. The door might not have been locked, but it was still a cage, and now I knew the truth. I was something to be toyed with until I was no longer entertaining, and I refused to be entertainment for an alpha ever again.
Which brought me back again to ending it all. It was the only thing left in my control.
My pulse lurched at the thought and my chest clenched as a voice within me, the one that wanted desperately to believe that being with Bishop hadn’t been a lie and that gruff and distant Cyrus wasn’t really a monster, begged me to reconsider.
